Evan's Garden

Christmas 2011 post!

2012-01-25T23:47:00.000-05:00

Justin and LaLa share a hug on Christmas Eve at Justin's sister's house.

Pop, hanging out by Nat's Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.

Christmas morning came bright and early. There's no sleeping in for Miranda no matter what the occasion! This picture was taken shortly after 6am.

Miranda was thrilled with more than just her new toys. When she unwrapped each present, she excitedly said, "It's a box!" Only a little kid could put so much enthusiasm in the little things.

Duncan got up an hour after Miranda, but only when Mommy whispered, "Santa came!" He hopped out of bed like a shot. He was too busy playing and checking things out to look up and smile for pictures.

Silly wolf hats from Pop and Lala. Duncan loves them and wears one to bed fairly regularly.

Christmas morning means many things. To a lot of parents out there it means reading directions on new toys and how to assemble them. Note the fierce concentration.

Christmas dinner was at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Here Miranda eagerly helps her Grandma.

My dad and I shared conversation over our new cameras.

Miranda sports her newest accessory, because who would think to put a potty seat on a potty.

Peek a boo!

More instructions and assembling. This time for Miranda's new doll house.

A boy and his wolf. And his wolf hat.

The big 4-0

2012-01-10T11:03:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is my 40th birthday. I'm not all that excited about it, really. I don't know. Thirty wasn't so bad, well, because thirty just isn't so bad. And we were in Hawaii. This time around we'll be home. Justin is out of work, so nothing too grandiose. I'm mostly hoping for some cake. Although...Miranda has been practicing for a surprise party for months. She comes into the room, switches off the light, counts to three in a stage whisper, and yells, "Surprise!" So, we all play along and act surprised, and she wishes the person there a happy birthday. So really, I've been getting birthday wishes since at least November. And when we had extra boxes around during Christmas, she produced a present! It was very exciting.

Usually the present is just an empty box, which to Miranda, is something to be excited about! (Boxes are very cool for the 3 and under crowd.)

Recently, however, she's started putting an actual surprise in the box. Because an empty box is cool, but something inside the box is even better. And the something inside this little box is pretty surprising.

"Happy Birthday, Mommy! Here's a lizard!"

Thanksgiving...a little late

2012-01-09T14:12:00.002-05:00

I meant to get back on here and post this after Thanksgiving, but got all wrapped up in the holidays and just let things slide. Just before Thanksiving the kids stayed with Grandma and Grandpa. They went to church that Sunday. When I went out to pick them up, my mom handed me the little card (pictured on the left) that Duncan made in Sunday school. If you can't read Duncan's handwriting, it says:

Dear Mom,

Thank you for loving me. You made me feel better and I am so grateful.

Love, Duncan

I know he had help with spelling out the words (and it is fill in the blank!), but I think the ideas were 100 percent Duncan. Because he is a little sweetheart.

The Turkey handprint card was made at school. Above is a picture of the front, and on the inside:

Dear Mom + Dad, I love you. Duncan

So yeah, I was pretty much melting into a big pile of emotional goo after getting these cards. That little boy knows how to make his Mommy feel special.

Evan - Day 24

2011-11-24T07:25:00.001-05:00

Evan when he was brand new

Today and every day I'm thankful for my son, Evan, who we lost to Bacterial Meningitis five years ago today.

Of course, I thought he was beautiful. He was my first baby! But I was a little surprised when strangers came up to me in the store to tell me, "That is the purdiest baby!" I couldn't help but agree.

We, just like every parent, thought every new little trick our son performed was the coolest thing ever!

Evan loved books and lap time with Mommy.

And he loved to play. When Miss Stephanie (he called her Miss Stepanie) told me that Evan loved to play, my reaction was, "Don't they all?" Apparently not! Or, at least, when he played he didn't want to be disturbed and go and do something odious. Like go outside to the playground. Until he remembered, "Oh yeah, that's good too!"

Evan gave up naps a little earlier than I had hoped. He really fought taking a nap after Duncan was born. I really needed that quiet time, because Duncan wasn't the best sleeper (as a result, neither was I.) But Justin was able to snuggle Evan and get him to sleep.

Evan wasn't sure about Duncan when he first arrived. He was noisy and needy.

But Evan was sweet and patient...a good big brother.

More play time in the pool.

Having art time wasn't really Evan's favorite thing. But I think he enjoyed his special time with his Mommy.

Self portrait

We love you and miss you, Evan!

Balloons - Day 23

2011-11-23T19:50:00.001-05:00

I remember the morning of Evan's 2nd birthday party I was pretty grumpy. I'd had an argument with Justin. I don't remember what it was about. Probably something silly. I went to church and was all upset. I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a couple of things for the party. I started off at the florist area to get some balloons. They bumped into each other and into me as I continued shopping. I noticed my mood had improved, and I thought to myself, "It's almost impossible to be upset when you're carrying balloons!" I decided to get over it and go home to a good time with my little boy and our families. And, of course, he loved his balloons. (Somehow I didn't manage to get pictures of those balloons!)

In August of that year Evan got a green balloon at someone else's birthday party. He chose the green one specially, and was disappointed when it flew away. I promised him another balloon when he got his hair cut before starting school in September. Balloons are about special occasions. Birthdays and, um, haircuts. Anyway, he was very pleased to get a new balloon. I figured he'd go with his favorite color, red. Nope. He remembered that lost green balloon, and happily got a new green one to replace it. There was no losing it this time.

Miranda and Duncan love balloons, too. Who doesn't, really? I don't know if it's the "boop, booping" the balloons make as they bump into each other. Or maybe the mystery of how they float. For Duncan I think part of it is popping them. They elicit giggles and squeals of delight.

And very happy faces. We get them for birthdays and I even got a couple to decorate for Miranda's class Thanksgiving party last week.

We also get balloons on Evan's death anniversary. Ever since the 2nd anniversary of Evan's death we've done a balloon release in his memory. We typically gather with friends and family. We write notes to Evan on the balloons, and even draw funny pictures. Someone says a few words, and we let them go. It's beautiful. A lovely, colorful tribute to a sweet little boy.

Of course, I have to admit: unlike what I thought on the day of Evan's 2nd birthday party, I guess balloons don't always improve my mood. I went today to get a couple of special balloons to release tomorrow, and almost cried. One balloon has pictures from one of Evan's favorite shows: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

The other balloon, simply says, "I love you." Tomorrow I think it will just be us. No family or friends. And just two balloons. Of course, how many do we need to honor a little boy. He would have been happy with just one. So today I'm thankful for balloons. They bring joy to the little ones and a feeling of being able to reach out to my lost little one.

My Inlaws - Day 22

2011-11-23T13:05:00.001-05:00

Yes, that's right. I'm thankful for my inlaws. It all began before Justin and I got married. I dated a guy a long time ago, and his mom was coldly polite. I guess she didn't like me much. I didn't really like her that much, either. In fact I called her The Ice Queen. After that experience I told myself that I could never marry a man if I didn't like his mom. Flash forward a few years later. I met Justin's parents at their house and thought to myself, "Well, that was easy." So, thanks Sally and Beau (and Sarah and Nat)!

My Parents - Day 21

2011-11-22T09:42:00.001-05:00

I guess being thankful for my parents is kind of a no brainer. Most people are thankful for the gift of life given to them by their parents. And, yep, I'm grateful for that. I'm pleased to have a close relationship with my folks. We've grown closer since Evan's death. The death of their first grandson was a terrible blow. It still hurts them. I can tell. But just as I do with Justin, we lean on each other for support. It's been fun having more of a friendship than just a parent-child relationship. I enjoy talking plants with Mom and having a laugh with Dad. I'm at their house right now. They are playing with the grand kids while I sneakily type here. I love that they have a close relationship with my kids. And they're always willing to help. I have a gimpy foot right now, so Mom has been taking good care of me, allowing me the opportunity to put my feet up!

So, thanks Mom and Dad for all the love and support!

My Husband - Day 20

2011-11-20T18:46:00.001-05:00

Justin and I met through mutual friends when we were in college. He was pretty weird. But in a charming sort of way. It took us a few years to get together, but we finally did. We did a lot of goofy things together, becoming closer and closer along the way. He proposed and we got married. (Just like that!) It was just us for a few years.

One never really knows what sort of parent one will be until it happens. I didn't know what sort of father Justin would be, but I had high hopes. We both knew we wanted a family eventually.

We were fortunate enough to have our first baby, Evan, in February 2004. He was a sweet, snuggly little fellow, and we fell in love with him instantly. I was pleased to see that Justin was a natural "Daddy." He changed Evan's first poopy diapers in the hospital!

Duncan came along a couple of years later. As I previously mentioned he was a bit cranky. But Justin always had hugs to spare for his second little boy. And he was pretty understanding of me when I'd had enough of the tears and tantrums of the little ones. When we lost Evan, Justin and I leaned on each other like never before. And we held onto little Duncan like a life raft.

When we were ready, we decided that we would try one more time. And after a few scares during the pregnancy, I had Miranda in 2008. She started off in the NICU, but she came home soon. And it didn't take long to have Daddy wrapped around her tiny little fingers. Justin is a kind and loving father and supportive husband. I'm very blessed and thankful to have him in my life. Thanks, Justy! I love you!

Days 18 & 19

2011-11-19T22:21:00.001-05:00

I mentioned my regular ol' run-of-the-mill friends a few days ago in another gratitude post. That makes them sound not so special, but it's quite the reverse. I have friends I've known since Kindergarten. Kindergarten! These few people understand me. They know my quirks and love me anyway. I have friends that I've known since high school and college. Other friends that I only know because their kids were in the same playgroup with Evan. And new friends that I've met through a mom's group. You are all very special to me. It's been difficult to have the openness and closeness with other people since the death of my son. Sometimes it's hard to let down that hard, prickly shell. I thank you for making the effort in spite of me. Thanks, friends!

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I'm also thankful to my neighbors. They are some of the nicest people around. They love our kids and they are so supportive. I feel very blessed to know them and can call them friends.

Duncan - Day 17

2011-11-18T22:52:00.000-05:00

Duncan was a needy baby. I called him my rocket baby, because the whole labor and delivery process was fast. We barely made it to the hospital in time. We got him home just fine, but he was a little bit cranky, which meant I was a little bit cranky, too. He wasn't a good sleeper. He fussed a lot. He needed to be held a lot. It was tough on Evan. He had to share his mommy with this really cranky, loud newcomer. We made it through the first few months somehow. I was so thankful for Evan. He kept me sane. So sweet and patient, even when I was not. He loved being a big brother and looked forward to playing with Duncan as he got more and more active. When Duncan cried, Evan would pat him on the head and say, "It's okay, Duncan." When his little brother started rolling over, and rocking back and forth on his hands and knees, Evan was on the sidelines cheering him on. "Roll over, Duncan!" Then when Duncan was six months old, we lost Evan. And Duncan was cranky again. He looked for his big brother.

He was small, but I think he could tell things weren't right. And in that moment I was thankful for my needy baby, because I really needed him. I just held him close and loved him. And soon his little smiles got bigger and his hugs got more snuggly. It's like he knew what we needed, and just gave and gave. And he still gives us so much love. He's such a little sweetheart. Always (well, almost always) willing to give hugs and kisses. Easy to smile. A joy to be around. I'm so thankful for my sweet, sweet Duncan.

Duncan's Teacher - Day 16

2011-11-17T19:05:00.001-05:00

Last year we had Duncan evaluated for speech and other delays by the county. I went in hoping they'd tell me he was perfect and didn't need any help. We left with recommendations for speech and occupational or behavioral therapy. He got the extra help all last year in preschool. His speech improved, and he started to learn to be a good friend and student. I had hoped at the end of the year that they would recommend regular Kindergarten with maybe a little help with speech. Instead, they suggested a "special" Kindergarten class in the public school, because he might lose all that he'd learned in a private setting (he wouldn't benefit from the free special needs program into Kindergarten if, say, he attended a church Kindergarten.) I agonized over the decision. I just kind of felt under attack. But after talking with some moms who had kids who'd gone through the program, I felt better about the class, and I decided to enroll him. We met his teacher over the summer and he started Big Kid school in August. He rides a "short bus" to school every day. Those buses, when I was growing up, were for the severely handicapped kids. Not anymore! They are all over the place. Turns out, the small bus was a good thing for Duncan. Fewer older kids to worry about, seat belts, and the driver knows Duncan by name. But what I'm most thankful for about this whole process is his teacher. She's wonderful! It's a great setting. Just eight kids, a teacher, and a teacher's helper. They get hands on learning that wouldn't be possible in a larger class. There's no chance Duncan will get left behind. After helping at the school a couple months ago, I wished all of the Kindergartners had this kind of setting.

Thanks, Mrs. B!

Gardening - Day 15

2011-11-16T17:57:00.001-05:00

A gorgeous daylily!

I enjoyed gardening (although I wasn't very good at it) before we lost Evan.

Echinacea purpurea "Purple Cone Flower"

After we lost Evan gardening turned into a sort of therapy for me.

Deutzia gracilis "Duncan"

I created a garden in memory of Evan. It went from a little garden with interesting plant names to an animal garden after suffering flooding of epic proportions in 2009.

A pretty white Hydrangea I picked up in honor of all of my children at Easter last year.

Dahlia "Evan Matthew"

In that first year after Evan's death, I read a comment on a gardening forum about how one could honor a deceased loved one by planting something with the cultivar name of that loved one. I started with Echinacea "Sundown" which is also called "Evan Saul." Then I also purchased Dahlia "Evan Matthew."

Hydrangea serrata "Miranda"

I decided I had to represent the other kiddies in the garden, so I also found Deutzia gracilis "Chardonnay Pearls" also called "Duncan." And I lucked on a beared Iris called "Duncan's Smiling Eyes." And last, but not least I found Hydrangea serrata "Miranda." Gardening hasn't just been therapy (and good exercise), it's also been fun. And a great way to get closer to my mom and sister. So, today I am thankful for having been bitten by the gardening bug.

My Seeester - Day 14

2011-11-15T09:57:00.000-05:00

I'm blessed to have a sister. I might not have thought so when she was scratching me with her long, shapely nails when we were kids. But now I look at those scars with love. Alright, I don't, but she turned out to be a pretty wonderful person. We don't like the same music (Can is one of her faves.) Our food choices can be pretty different. But we share gardening and being silly. She has been there for me through the last few years like no one else. I can call her and talk about anything, and I don't have to worry about rolling eyes and sighs of impatience. I can call her sobbing my heart out, and she cries with me and helps me laugh again.

Thank you, thank you Sherrie! I love you!

Thanks for the Memories - Day 13

2011-11-15T09:34:00.001-05:00

I'm behind yet again. I kind of wish I hadn't started this Thankful business. Sure, it's easy to come on here and say, "I'm thankful for pizza," because I am thankful for pizza. But that seems kind of silly. If you asked me back in July what I was thankful for, I would have said Central Air Conditioning. I didn't want this almost month of gratitude to be about "things." But trying to dig deeper is tough. Especially because this is a difficult time of year for us. Evan's death anniversary is next week. Five years. It's unbelievable.

Five years ago today the weather, much like today, was mild. Instead of meeting up with friends inside, I decided to meet with friends at a playground. Enjoy that last little bit of fall weather before winter decided to come barging in. I loaded the boys up in the van and we went to the "different" park. Evan begged to go to The Different Park. I asked him, "Which park is that?" "The different one." Ooookay. Luckily for us his little friend Kennan liked what he called the Rubber Park (because it has rubber flooring.) When we passed the usual park, I'm sure Evan was pleased. And, sure enough, when we pulled into the Rubber Park parking lot, he said, "Yeah! The Different Park!" The boys played together. Duncan was just 6 months old, so he mostly hung out in the stroller. I left him with my friend while I slid down the slide with Evan several times. It was a lot of fun. We laughed and laughed. It was to be colder and wet the next day. We went to get Evan's hair cut in preparation for Thanksgiving the following week. Just over a week after this memory he was dead. Even though I sit here crying, I'm thankful to have this memory and others of my sweet little boy, Evan.

Day 12

2011-11-13T18:29:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for "death metal" versions of songs, because it makes the ABC song and "Rise and Shine" very, very amusing here for metal head Miranda!

Days 10 & 11

2011-11-11T21:27:00.001-05:00

I'm thankful for new innovations that make it seem like "it's a small world after all." I can skype with someone on the other side of the planet. And it's because of the internet that I know someone of the other side of the planet! Science helps make friends. Who knew?

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And because it's Veteran's Day today I would like to say thank you to all the men and women who have served in our nation's military. Thank you for your courage and sacrifice in protecting our country.

Days 8 & 9

2011-11-09T23:12:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm slacking here...

Justin got let go from his job in August. He had a month or so where he didn't have much going on. He sent out resumes, and checked the job listings daily, but the only work he was doing involved destroying zombie armies in some video game. However, he did get in contact with an old colleague, and that friend has been able to get Justin some contracting work. So, very thankful for friends that can help out in a crunch.

And...

I'm grateful for smiley little faces first thing in the morning. It possibly makes me a little less grumpy. Possibly.

"Easy For You to Say!" - Day 7

2011-11-08T12:09:00.000-05:00

I had the absolute pleasure to go see the Foo Fighters (and The Joy Formidable and Social Distortion) last night. Fantastic show. Go see them! Anyhow, Dave Grohl said the song "These Days" was his favorite song that he's ever written. I listened to the words (and belted out along), and thought how true they are for those of us who's hearts have been broken. I'm thankful that there's music out there that expresses pretty much every feeling that I have. I have songs I listen to when I'm angry or sad. I can listen to just about anything when I'm happy. The refrain in this song is talking about how someone is saying, "It's alright." Everything will be ok. And the brokenhearted Grohl screams, "It's easy for you to say! Your heart has never been broken." I have had people tell me they "understand" and how "it'll be ok." Well, it's easy for you to say! If you haven't lost a child (or had a significant loss), you don't understand. You just don't. Maybe this is a backhanded thing to being thankful for. But, really, it's nice to have tunes I can crank up when things aren't ok. And when I'm feeling misunderstood.

Thanks for the Prayers - Day 6

2011-11-06T14:20:00.000-05:00

I remember one Sunday in October 2006 my pastor asked us to pray for a little girl who was very sick. She is the granddaughter of fellow church members. She had bacterial meningitis and was in one of the local children's hospitals. I remember coming home and shooing away Evan and Duncan, because Mommy had something important to do. I sat at the computer and typed up an email sending off the prayer request for this little girl to my friends and family, so that even more prayers could be said. The next month Evan was in the hospital with the same disease. He didn't make it. I've often wondered if anyone had heard about Evan from a friend and prayed for him, like I did for that little girl, who was a stranger to me. Today I'm thankful for all of the prayers and good vibes friends, family and strangers send my way.

Thank you!

Pwoper Fwiends - Day 5

2011-11-05T22:30:00.000-04:00

Pwoper Fwiends are not the same as just the ol' regular run of the mill friends. My pwoper fwiends are all people I met through a little English band called Muse. I met them online through Muse's website fan forum. We're all hopeless Musers. But this group of people is very special. We are there for each other. There's no judging, just support. It doesn't matter what the drama, whether it's a bad hair day or marital problems. I know when I go there I have a sympathetic ear. We also share the good times. Tonight a bunch of us were being silly and cutting up about, of all things, banjos. So today I'm thankful for my Muser friends. I'm not going to quote "Butterflies and Hurricanes" and say, "You've got to be the best," because you already are the best!

Thank you!

Miranda - Day 4

2011-11-05T17:13:00.000-04:00

Usually when Miranda looks into the mirror, she practices making faces. She grins. She sticks out her tongue. She wrinkles up her little nose. All very silly and cute.

Today she had a dialogue with the Little Girl in the Mirror. She had what she thought was a stern look on her face and a raspy voice when she said things like, "No hitting, Miranda" or "You're in trouble!"

And when the Little Girl not in the mirror responded it was with a sweet expression and voice, "But I don't want to go to the park." And who could say no to that sweet little face?

Even though Miranda obviously feels wronged (ahem, could I be the stern raspy voiced person?!), I know she loves me. And even though she is a handful and a half, I love her and I'm thankful for her every day.

Thanks for the Laughs - Day 3

2011-11-03T09:44:00.000-04:00

I was trying to get a couple of funny clips in one post, but I'm lame and can't figure out how to do it. So, I'll just share the comedy stylings of the late Mitch Hedberg. I'm thankful for people who can make me laugh, because laughter really is the best medicine. RIP Mitch.

Just For Laughs - Bruce Bruce

2011-11-03T09:41:00.000-04:00

Here's the other comedian I wanted to post. I LOVE Bruce Bruce! Enjoy!

"Don't waste your time...searching for those wasted years." - Day 2

2011-11-02T18:24:00.000-04:00

Duncan brought home a book from school this week called, "The Three Questions" by Jon J Muth. It's based on a Leo Tolstoy story of the same name. The three questions are: When is the best time to do things? Who is the most important one? and What is the right thing to do? The main character asks his friends, but to no avail. The boy sets out on a journey to ask a learned turtle (it's a kid's book, so there are animal characters!) After helping the turtle and some drama with a hurt panda, the boy finally asks again for the answers to his questions. And summed up:
"There is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side." One may or may not agree with these answers, but they got me thinking. It's so easy to get stuck looking back at my "wasted years." Missing Evan is one thing, but obsessing about it is quite another. It's good to remember that now is what Iron Maiden calls the golden years, the most important people are with me: my family, and the important thing is to do good for them. So, I am thankful for these reminders (yes, even from Iron Maiden!) to live in the moment instead of the past.

"I would still lay down my life for you." - Day 1

2011-11-01T23:00:00.000-04:00

I've decided to do the month of gratitude that seems popular this time of year. Although, my version will also include thoughts and reflections. And musical selections. My grouping will probably be just 24 days, and end on Thanksgiving Day, which is also the 5th anniversary of my son, Evan's, death.

My first debt of gratitude goes to the men and women who fight and die for my country.

Thank you.

BwahahaHalloween!

2011-11-01T22:08:00.001-04:00

This post is picture heavy, so I'll go easy on the text!

We hit the Pumpkin Patch in search of pumpkins and fun!

I had no luck finding a white pumpkin this year, so I had to settle for orange. They still turned out great.

The kids liked the pumpkins, but the bounce houses were the main draw!

And the huge slide!

Duncan, peeking out of the giant Pumpkin bounce house!

We decided to make our own scarecrow this year. Except, Miranda ran off with the hat!

And the head!

Boo!

Here she is dismantling our pumpkin scarecrow!

Jumping in the neighbor's big leaf pile!

We went to see the annual Kindergarten Pretend Parade at Duncan's school.

It was so much fun! The older kids lined up along the bus dropoff and cheered for the Kindergarteners as they paraded by.

Duncan in his skeleton costume and the homemade mask. (I couldn't find the one that came with the "Bone Suit," as he called it last year.)

And finally, trick or treating! Miranda was a witch. When I got the hat the previous day, she put it on and ran around saying, "I'm a witch, I'm a witch." And then cackled!

Duncan in his costume with the store bought mask. We just went down our little cul-de-sac street and came back, and the kids were ready to go in.

Here's Miranda with her Nimbus 2011 handmade by Justin!

I hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween!

Music Midtown 2011

2011-10-30T22:33:00.000-04:00

Here we are sitting on the grassy knoll at Music Midtown September 24, 2011!

Music Midtown returned this year after a few years off. It had been a three day event with up to six stages. This year there were two stages and it was just one day. The stages were set up rather closely together. As one performance ended on one stage, the next one began on the other stage. If you sat in the right spot, you could see all the bands play that day. Which is pretty much what we did.

Justin told me that he preferred music festivals to regular concerts. I can't remember what his reasons were. Multiple bands for a great price? Decent food? No lining up, unless you really want to? I suspect, however, it's more about the lounging around in the grass for him!

I think this is when the Joy Formidable were on. Great group out of Wales. We're fortunate enough to see them open for the Foo Fighters soon!

We decided to get up a little closer for The Black Keys, since we missed them at Outside Lands in August.

There was a lot of confusion about this big, green tarp that was lying on the ground. The girl who owned it kept saying, "It's just a tarp!" I don't think she'd been to a festival before, because she was using up the space for about 15 people.

Some festival goers ended up folding up the tarp.

The tarp owner in gray. She was a bit miffed about the whole thing. Maybe once people started crowding in she understood. Who knows!

Why is there always some 7 foot guy that decides to push in front of me?!

The crazy dancing guy. He had some serious moves. I didn't manage a clear picture, because he was really going for it. He invaded A LOT of people's space.

Most people were pretty nice. If they wanted to push forward, it was not too jerky. Until pretty close to the end of the Black Keys. This group of maybe 10 people came pushing and shoving their way up front. We were all just standing there watching them, because we were just astonished by their nerve. Had we been thinking about it, I'm sure somebody would have gotten a swift kick in the backside!

The Black Keys! I tweeted at the time that Akron, Ohio must be pretty depressing, because TBK play a whole lot of blues! So, this was the crowd in front of us.

And this was the crowd behind.

We also heard/saw: Young the Giant, Manchester Orchestra, Cage the Elephant, Band of Skulls, and a couple of other smaller bands. And, oh yeah, Coldplay.

We decided to stay put during Cage the Elephant, and just listen from the other stage. We moved back and sat down on the grass. I have no pictures, because my phone doesn't have a flash, and naturally, I forgot the camera. We thought ahead and brought a blanket along. So, we were just sitting there. Minding our own business, when this large drunk woman decides to sit down on me. She was a friendly drunk. It took a little coercion to get her off me, but she didn't want to abandon "her" spot on the blanket at first. She told me she worked with the elderly, and kept telling us to be kind to old people. Umm...ok. Finally, her exasperated friend told her she had found so and so, and that was her cue to get up. I did make sure she wasn't driving. Pretty soon after that, the flood of people started coming back, and Coldplay began to play. Really enjoyed them live. I was pleased to hear "Fix You" live. Overall, a great day. We didn't have any problems with traffic. So, yeah, I can see us doing it again!

A Serious Case of the Sillies

2011-10-30T21:56:00.000-04:00

This is how we tailgate around here. In a big, comfy chair not anywhere close to a football game.

Oh yeah, with cookies.

Miranda, In cognito

Silly girl is silly.

Duncan insisted on wearing his "firefighter coat" on his bike ride. In spite of the warm weather (see how Justin is dressed!) Silly boy is silly!

It's Fall, Y'all!

2011-10-26T23:15:00.000-04:00

After a really long, hot, DRY summer, it is wonderful to be able to get outside and play now that Autumn has finally arrived!

The kids have been out on their bikes and scooters. We have a dreadfully steep driveway, so we have to choose our route with care.

Although, the kids don't mind. They just like circling around the cars. Plenty of places to hide when you're playing, "Let's jump out and say, 'Boo!'"

Duncan decided to pretend he was going duck hunting (with my vacuum cleaner parts!)

And sometimes he even treated Miranda to a little ride in the wagon! (But he mostly complained about her!)

But when you play outside on the concrete, there are bound to be boo boos.

Miranda had a nasty fall while running full tilt down the driveway. She scraped both knees and her arm.

Ouch! (Sadly, she re-scraped that one on her right knee three times!)

Nothing that a few band aids and a juice box can't cure, though. You realize that band aides have miraculous healing powers. And serious analgesic properties. Why, whenever Duncan has a boo boo, just putting a band aid on it makes it feel all better! Or maybe it's Mommy's kiss!

First Day of School!

2011-10-24T06:51:00.001-04:00

Yes, I'm a couple of months behind. Duncan started Big Kid School in August this year. Here he's demonstrating how much heavier his bag is. Or maybe he's just being silly.

I got several photos of Duncan trying not to smile. He was making silly faces. Ready for his big day!

Then Duncan took the camera. And zombies attacked!

Another shot from Duncan of the beautiful blue sky!

And some flowers (Early Bird Gold Rudbeckia, if anyone's interested!)

The obligatory self portrait.

Goofy grin!

Duncan and me. I don't think I even cried that day!

And his first ever ride on the school bus! He had a super first day of Kindergarten, and he's doing great. All the stress I had when choosing which program this year has melted away. Duncan is in a wonderful school with a wonderful teacher. I couldn't be any more proud. And he's starting to read! It's a very exciting time!

Outside Lands 2011

2011-10-17T10:52:00.001-04:00

Back in late spring, early summer I started bugging Justin about going to see the band Muse at one of their concerts over the summer. I knew several other people going to the Indianapolis show, and begged and pleaded to get tickets. I even offered to bake Justin an apple pie! (This was after dropping Lolapalooza hints that went pretty much unnoticed.) He finally asked, "Do you really want to go?" "YES!" "Well, ok. Set it up, and I'll get the plane tickets with my sky miles." I had a hard time with the ticket purchase. I was on the third attempt when Justin called back. "Have you bought tickets, yet?" "Umm...no. I've been having problems with the ticket vender." He says, "I'm not really interested in going to Indianapolis. Hey, isn't Muse playing in San Francisco?" Me, "Yes." He says, "Well, I'd much rather go there than Indy." "Sounds good! I'll get tickets for Outside Lands, then! And we'll get to see Craig and Amy" (good friends from high school/college.)

So, we got the tickets in the mail and waited for August to roll around. A week or so before the festival, Justin found out he was going to be let go from his job at the end of the month. We decided to go ahead and go to San Francisco and take the much needed break. We flew into San Francisco, and a few hours later, we walked onto the grounds of Golden Gate State Park, hearing the band MGMT blasting nearby. We got some grub and headed over to see Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, and do a little people watching.

Apparently, music festivals are great for people watching. There were a whole lotta people wearing these weird animal hats. I mean, everywhere. It was cold, so it made sense to keep warm, but the animal hats (or Spirit Hoods, as we came to find out), were more than just headgear.

They were personality changers. Once you slip on the Hood, you are the animal. Or maybe just a douchebag.

One good thing about dressing up in a crowd of sixty thousand people is that you might actually find your friends. If you're all dressed in blue button down shirts, you might blend in too well. You need beany hats to really stick out!

I'm surprised this picture of Phish isn't blurred, because I know my body was shivering and my teeth were chattering from the cold. I was completely unprepared, with only a lightweight jacket and skort. So, we ended up leaving a little early and getting some hot chocolate. I was bummed, because I was enjoying it.

On Saturday we met up with our friends and had some good playground time and lunch

Note Benjamin's classic sliding position.

And the handsome, Louis!

After some epic bowling (well, by Craig) and an excellent lunch at the mall (mall court food in San Fran is really good!), we headed back over to the festival.

.It was much warmer on the second day until the sun went down. We didn't do as much people watching, because we were camped out at the main stage (called the Land's End stage) for most of the day.

We got spots next to the sound desk for OkGo. This is the group that got Duncan into Rube Goldberg machines earlier this year. Had loads of fun, and especially enjoyed :

Here it Goes Again

Without the treadmills, unfortunately!

The Sunflower Guys!

I'm pretty sure a short, chubby woman with mountains for boobs was pointing at Justin and me and laughing during the Arctic Monkeys performance. I'm not sure why. Maybe our nerdy appearance. Or the sunburned faces (in spite of sunscreen!) So, after that we decided to get some hats and dinner, hoping to watch The Black Keys when we returned. My stone oven baked pizza took forever, and by the time we'd got our hats, and eaten, The Black Keys were finishing up. I was pretty disappointed. Because I really wanted to see this live:

Tighten Up

I don't even know what this is supposed to be!

We walked through the masses to get back to Lands End stage for Myoooooooze!

This is the one and only picture I took. I didn't want to bother, since I only had my phone, and wanted to enjoy the music. And did I enjoy it? Yes, yes, I did. Two songs I hadn't heard before: Butterflies & Hurricanes and Citizen Erased got this Southern girl jumping like a crazy person, and no longer complaining of the chill in the air.

Citizen Erased (although, I don't remember that echo)

And Lasers! hehe!

After the concert, we waded to the front against the crowd, and met up with the brave souls who had been crushed to the barrier at the front all day. Apparently, it was a pretty rough crowd, with lots of people pushing their way up front. Pushing and shoving are pretty expected when you're in the pit, but not being able to lift your arms? I think I would have bailed. I'm much too claustrophobic. Besides, where we ended up I was able to jump to my heart's content. And, oh boy, did I. Got a good workout that night. Somehow, I didn't manage to get any pictures of friends!

The third day was really laid back. We didn't have specific plans to see any particular group, so we went from stage to stage checking out as many bands as we could.

The guy on stilts! Right next to the Trash/Recycling and Compost bins. It was amazing how many things were compostable: the plates, cups, utensils and all the food. Pretty cool.

Choco Lands, also known as "Creepy Candy Land." This was a small area with all your dessert eateries. Outside Lands had a nice array of good food and drink. Choco Lands had a little place called Epic Cookies. I got a Snickerdoodle. It was totally epic. Seriously. I also got a hot chocolate from whatever the hot chocolate place was called.

Every once in a while there would be a volunteer manning the compost/recycling/trash cans. Generally, they were helpful if anyone had a question about where an item should go. This guy in the above picture was a bit of a compost natzi, though. He'd yell at people if they got it in the wrong bin.

Me!

One of the surprise hits for us was the Infamous Stringdusters. They played on a small stage tucked in near some food stalls and other stuff. They were fantastic! They started off with about a hundred people watching, and ended up with a couple thousand.

We saw "Grizzly Adams" a few times during the festival. Wearing the same outfit and exhibiting really, really hairy arms and back. And bare feet. Here he grabbed a poor, innocent girl and got her dancing. Good times!

Yoda made a special appearance at Outside Lands this year. He wasn't telling this girl to "Try not," he was mostly just hanging out.

We caught Arcade Fire at the very end of the fest, and headed back to the hotel. Talked to my mom on the phone and found out Duncan had gotten something in his eye. But seemed ok. The next day we tooled around San Fran and ended up watching Harry Potter 7 part 2. I turned my phone back on after the movie to see that Mom had called. I called back. Duncan's school called, his eyes were running and he was crying. She took him to the doctor, and he had an eye infection. Poor thing! So, we managed to get an earlier flight back the next day, so we'd get home in the afternoon instead of the middle of the night. We had an epic time (cookies and all!), but it was good to be home, and be able to hug my runny eyed little boy and my, thankfully, not so runny eyed daughter!

Thomas!

2011-10-14T11:48:00.000-04:00

Again!

The kids, the grandparents and I drove to see Thomas the Tank Engine again in North Carolina this summer. Last year it was cloudy and cool with some humidity. This year it was just plain hot!

The ride in the coach was just a short mile long "journey" down the track and back. Probably plenty for the younger riders. The view is not very interesting until we get to the river, which is quite lovely.

Grandpa!

The river! Pretty, ain't it?

Thankfully, with such a short ride, it's nice to have some fun, free stuff for the kids to do afterwards. There are train sets to play with, bounce houses, slides, bubbles, Meet Sir Topham Hatt, and...

Ice Cream! Although, the ice cream was not free.

Duncan, enjoying playing with the Lego train set.

And what's a festival without a test of strength? Miranda wielded the hammer. She raised it, and it came crashing down! She successfully made the bell ring! My little princess is also tough as nails. Although, I noticed that every kid was successful, and that there was a secret button near the fellow that was overseeing the test. Heehee!

Summer Stuff, continued

2011-10-14T11:27:00.000-04:00

After learning that a sweet friend had breast cancer a year ago, I decided to start growing out my hair to donate to one of the charities that makes wigs. I finally had enough this summer to get it chopped.

I said, "Take off 8 inches, please." From tip to tail, though, it looks more like 10.

The end result! Plus she took more off to "even it out." Although, shorter in the front than back is hardly even. Note to self: when asked if you want long layers, just say no.

Summer Fun!

2011-10-11T06:29:00.000-04:00

Even though we had a long, hot, dry summer here, we still managed to have some outdoor fun.

Here's Duncan on what I think of as the DNA ladder at a local playground.

Miranda LOVES the swings! In fact, she's a bit of a swing hog. We've left the swings in tears, because we had to share. Well, I say "we," but really it was just Miranda.

Little boy, Big Dinosaur! A Gigantosaurus! If I turned around a bit from here, I could take a picture of the even bigger Argentinosauraus. Massive.

We enjoyed a few trips to the science museum! I heard chants of "Dinosaur Bones!" for weeks afterward!

When it actually did rain this summer, we did a bit of puddle jumping!

I somehow managed to not take any photos of Miranda's water color pictures, but I did get these sidewalk chalk images.

Any other 5 year old you know what to write Iron Maiden on their driveway?

The playground with the "steamy slides." The first time we went down the slides, both Duncan and I got our elbows burned (or skinned) while going down. They are so tall and straight, that the ride down is fast. He didn't want to go back there for a while, because it stings! After that we learned to tuck in our elbows!

Duncan has always been a climber, and he's rather sure of himself. Climbing this "rock" wall was a breeze.

I don't know if Miranda is a natural climber or if she's just learned it from big brother. She's a little more confident than what she should be! But she made it to the top just fine. With Mommy hyperventilating a little on the ground!

Mandy and Pam's Epic Adventure

2011-10-07T11:58:00.002-04:00

I'm catching up on summer posts. It may look like we haven't done anything lately, because I haven't posted much. However, we've had a bit of fun...

After the kids went to stay with the grandparents for a week in June, I made the rash decision to go see the band Mumford & Sons in Raleigh, North Carolina. It wasn't the closest venue they were playing, but the show nearby was sold out, and going through a ticket re-sales agency looked too pricey. And besides, I had friends going to the Raleigh show. I got a ticket through Stubhub, and started making plans. To drive the whole way by myself would have been something like a six and a half hour drive. To go with my friend Mandy would add about an hour to the drive, but road trips are more fun with a friend!

The morning of the show I got up early and hit the road. I decided to adhere to the Three M's of Music: Maiden, Mumford and Muse. I had it cranked up, and got to Mandy's in a respectable three and a half hours. We had lunch and set out for Raleigh, planning to meet "The Girls" there for dinner.

We were minding our own business talking about music, kids, school, Muse, when the van in front of us drove over one of those big 18 wheeler tire treads. The tread kicked up into the air and hit Mandy's windshield, which shattered. We yelled, we screamed, our language was as colorful as a rainbow. Mandy had the presence of mind to get us over to the side of the road. We sat there trying to re-group. Both of us were shaking and trying to give comfort. Every time a truck drove past, glass would trickle into our laps and into my sandals. We both got on our phones and started making calls. I couldn't get Justin at first and left a, "We've had an incident" sort of message. I ended up texting him and one of "The Girls." Something like: "We were hit by a tire tread, we are ok, windshield is shattered."

Nobody stopped to see if we were ok. We ended up going up the onramp a little further down the highway, and didn't get as much of the road vibration there. Eventually, after a long, frustrating talk with her insurance company and a car rental place, a tow truck got there.

This picture is taken from inside the car.

James, the Tow Truck Driver! yay! He was quite the flirt, but he got us to the car rental place. We got a car, and headed back out. I told Mandy that had that happened to me by myself, I probably would have gone back home in tears and just not bothered with the concert.

(I don't know what the deal is with the sideways pics. Picasa automatically turns them around, but Blogger doesn't accept it. Won't accept my titles, either. Jerks!) So, with the delays we didn't make it to dinner with The Girls. We did get to the concert in time for the opening acts, though! We hung out with our friends, who insisted on buying us wine. And got ready for a fantastic show!

We had a great night, and drove back the next morning. In all of the excitement, I only slept a couple of hours. Everything was going well (except getting lost for a bit), until I crossed the state line and got to the boonies and the fuel light comes on. I slowed down and turned off the A/C. And prayed! I finally found a Mom & Pop gas station (that didn't take credit cards!) and filled the take with what cash I had left. And, naturally, those boonie gas stations charge $.30 more to the gallon. I wasn't complaining, though! About an hour later I got to my parents' town and my kids. And it was one of those, "All is Right with the World" sort of moments. And then I just wanted to go to bed!

Fashion Forward or Fashion Fiasco?

2011-09-19T21:03:00.000-04:00

All children are unique. But I guess you could say that some are more unique than others. Miranda is definitely pretty special. She's a sweetheart when she wants to be (you know, when she's got those fists put away.) I didn't take a lot of pictures of Miranda over the summer, because she chose to be naked most of the time. Or wear a swim suit. I was fine with the swim suit, because that meant she had something on. But lately Miranda has started to express her personality through her clothing choices. (sorry about the sideways pics!)

This outfit was put together for our preschool orientation recently. Tie dye shirt, pink skort, red and white striped train hat, and...

cleats. For a little girl who likes to go barefoot, Miranda sure likes to try on shoes.

Miranda's favorite summer ensemble: swim skort with matching rash guard.

Miranda found the hand-me-downs from a friend (boy's clothes), and put the sweater on top, and the sweater vest on bottom.

Frilly skirts are always a hit. And socks. Gotta have socks.

And after a nice cup of tea and a little investigating, it's good to have your best princess heels at the ready.

I've always considered myself lucky that Miranda would wear any old thing (usually a Thomas shirt). I've not had to purchase fancy boutique dresses. But she does clean up good. We call this the Bavarian princess look.

And, naturally, with heels!

On the wrong feet!

The List

2011-07-19T22:51:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago the pastor of my church finished up a series called "Heroes." The series was mostly about the heroes one doesn't hear about. Nothing about Peter and Paul, but the men and women behind the scene. The last sermon in the series covered part of one of Paul's letters. It was basically a list of people who were special to him and to the early Christian movement.

My pastor decided to write a letter to God listing the people in his own life that were special and that made an impact in his spiritual life. I listened to the names and to his comments. Many of these people were father or mother figures. Many are dead and gone, but their memory and influence live on for Davis.

I sat there wondering to myself: Is Evan on anyone's list? He died so young. Two years, 9 months, 24 days. He couldn't have been a father figure to anyone. He was a good big brother to a little brother who can't remember him. He was my sweet boy.

Mine!

I know he's on my list of most influential people in my life. Should it matter to me if he's on anyone else's? But somehow it does matter. I know I'm not the only grieving parent that feels this way. We feel the need to do something. Anything, so that our child's life and death will not have been in vain. People create foundations and establish memorial events to keep their child's memory fresh and their life's purpose, even after death, alive.

Is it possible that now, almost five years after his death, that Evan can still make someone's list?

Big Fun at the Little Gym!

2011-06-28T22:03:00.006-04:00

Today was our first class at The Little Gym. After having a fantastic time at the Introductory Class last week, I decided to sign the kids up for the rest of the Summer term.

The class began with the kids on the mat. They chose which everyday hero (police officer, firefighter, paramedic, etc.) they would like to be today. Duncan chose firefighter. He participated in all of the movements and songs, and was clearly having fun.

Miranda? She did her own thing. They told me when she did this last week that it's perfectly fine and expected that some kids will want to explore. There's structure, but not rigidity. Cool.

She checked out the bar, and did some swinging. But she kept a careful eye on what the other children were doing, so she could be sure to participate when she felt the urge (which she did this week! Huzzah!) Unfortunately, going in to snap a few clearer pics resulted in a distracted little girl. So, most of the pictures are from behind the glass.

Duncan at the bar, but watching his little sister on the beam. She's a total beam star.

Duncan gives the bar the "old college try." He ended up with a frowny face and started to cry. We all thought he'd bumped his nose or lip, but he told me when class was over that he wasn't able to flip. The poor little fella was disappointed that he couldn't flip. I told him that he'd done really well, and that next time if he needs a little extra help to be sure to ask the teacher, and that there was no reason to be disappointed.

Last week Miranda climbed up on the beam and did little hops, and then a crawl off sort of dismount. She loved it. The manager told me that she couldn't even get some of her 5 year old students to hop like that! All the parents were turning to me and asking if Miranda had been there before. Nope. She's just a Beam Star!

Work it, girl!

This week Miranda did a hop off sort of dismount. Her confidence is a little scary.

Duncan on the beam. He participated in every station today. So proud!

Duncan pulling up on the Uneven Parallel bars. Working those triceps!

She's a star and she knows it!

Broke

2011-06-26T21:54:00.006-04:00

Kids are expensive. They have to be fed, clothed, taken to the doctor, schooled. These are normal every day expenses, of course. But normal every day expenses do add up over time.

If you're A Planner you may have things all worked out for how much to spend to stay on budget. And how much is going into that college fund. If you're not A Planner, but still curious, there are calculators now that will tell you how much money you will have spent on Junior by the time he goes to college. I guess it's supposed to be somewhat amusing. Or maybe it really is out there to help people prepare themselves financially. I haven't looked up one of these online calculators, yet. But I have to wonder what all is left off the list. You know...all the stuff that the kid breaks in his endless experiments on Mommy's fragile nerves. Do you think it includes broken DVD and VHS players? Scratched DVDs? Dishwashers and computer keyboards? Monitors? The car stereo? Or how about all those times the kids dumped out every last drop of the gallon of milk or the whole package of flour?

I find myself thinking of a Ron Weasley quote from the Harry Potter series, "Why is everything I own rubbish?" Sure, the kids break their own stuff all the time, but it's always kind of a shock when something of mine is broken. I'm on my third flute cleaning rod within the last year. I hide them so that Duncan will not use them for drumsticks. I even have a back up rod. So, naturally, when I found Miranda examining my precious flute, which she had dumped out on the floor, I was a nervous wreck. I cautiously approached, gave the "you don't play with this" disclaimer, snatched it, and walked away stroking it. Probably saying, "My Precious."

Evan's Garden

2011-05-30T10:56:00.005-04:00

Yellow African Marigolds

Evan loved the happy, poofy yellow flowers on the African Marigold.

Evan's Garden is a special combination of plants and shrubs that I've picked out over the last four and a half years since Evan's death. At first I just wanted to have "fun" plants in his garden. I worked it and re-worked it, we had drought and flood, and I finally decided on an animal theme. Turns out, there are a lot of cool plants with animal names (as the common name) that can handle seasonal flooding. The garden is filling in nicely now.

Orthosiphon aristatus "Cat's Whiskers", Dryopteris ludoviciana Southern Wood Fern and Itea "Little Henry"

Veronica spicata "Red Fox"

Saururus cernuus "Lizard's Tail" or Water Dragon!

I'll have to keep an eye on the Lizard's Tail. I think it's easily doubled in size since last year. As attractive as it is, I'll need to keep the spreading in check.

Auruncus dioicus "Kneiffii"? "Goat's beard"

Ligularia dentata Leopard Plant

Not sure which variety of Liguaria this is. It will have lovely yellow daisy like flowers in summer.

Myosotis Forget Me Not

Forget Me Nots...ever appropriate in a memorial garden.

Polemonium reptans "Stairway to Heaven" Jacob's Ladder

Birthday Boy!

2011-05-17T20:43:00.004-04:00

Duncan turned 5 years old today. We've spent the better part of the afternoon listening to Iron Maiden and playing air guitar.

Duncan pretending to be the Iron Maiden robot.

Little rocker!

Happy Birthday, buddy!

My Hero

2011-04-24T06:02:00.006-04:00

"Evan" is a Welsh name that means young warrior. When we chose to name our son Evan, we just liked the name. We didn't know anything about the warrior business. But in his fight against Bacterial Meningitis in November 2006, Evan became that young warrior. Sadly, he lost the battle. Please remember Evan today on World Meningitis Day, and

Join Hands Against Meningitis!

And familiarize yourself with Meningitis symptoms here.

All Wet

2011-04-12T21:20:00.006-04:00

"Wow, look at this beautiful fountain!"

"Check it out, Miranda!"

"Let me show you what to do."

"Oh, like this?"

You can take a girl to the fountain, but you can't make her drink. But she'll get all wet anyway.

All Too Quiet

2011-03-12T22:56:00.004-05:00

To some silence means commitment. To others it's golden. But in my house it means trouble. If I can't hear giggling, screaming, talking, or the pitter patter of little feet (it's actually more of a stomp stomp stomping, to be honest), something is wrong. The Mommy Senses pick up on something. Somewhere, somehow, someone is making a mess.

I spent a little too much time hanging out with big brother on Friday morning. I was checking the web for news on the earthquake and tsunami in Japan...to the accompaniment of Iron Maiden, naturally. I think little sister may have been a tad jealous of all the lap time that Duncan was getting. All of a sudden I noticed the silence. I went to check on Miranda, you know, just to make sure she's ok.

I followed the footprint to the scene of the crime.

Flour, flour everywhere.

And the little culprit. Those little pants are brown in real life.

She lashes out like a celebrity, "No picture!"

She got in trouble, and I got to work cleaning up the mess. Flour is like sand. It gets everywhere! (haha Amy, I used this quote again!) After my shower, I found Miranda in the kitchen, olive oil in hand. She had mixed it with the whole container of baking soda, and a few tablespoons of salt. She got in trouble. Again. I can't help thinking that she may have been trying to make pretzels or something. Or just making trouble to get a little bit more of Mommy's attention. Thankfully, she was a sweetheart for the rest of the afternoon.

I Wish I Were an Elite Sprinter...

2011-02-19T21:33:00.002-05:00

Then I might be able to keep up with my kids!

The weather has been mild for the last several days. It's been great to get outside and burn off some energy. Miranda has done a little better about staying in our yard, rather than running off. So, I've had a few opportunities to get the shovel out and do some work in the garden. I generally have to drop it to chase someone every so often. When Miranda does run off, it has to be up the horrid hill in the back yard. I'll see her start sneaking up the hill, look back to make sure I'm watching, and then take off. So, I have to sprint after her. The workouts are probably helping work off all those Thin Mints we've been eating all week!

Of course, someone always does something to get in trouble while we're outside. So, I carry the miscreant up said horrid hill for a time out inside. Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it? It's hard for me to understand why they can't play nice, so we can stay outside a little longer. If you read between the lines it would say, "why can't they play nice, so I can garden a little longer?" Haha!

7 Years

2011-01-31T22:20:00.003-05:00

It's almost 10:30pm on January 31. Seven years ago at this time I was waiting impatiently for my first child to be born. I was more comfortable since getting the epidural, but I pretty much wanted the whole labor thing to be over. I was kind of hoping for a January baby. Evan's due date was January 29, after all. When I asked the doctor at about 10:30pm if it was possible that I would have a January baby, I got a shake of the head. Justin tried to convince me that a baby born on the first of the month would be easier to figure out the month to month, um, months (like, August 1st Evan was 6 months old.) There's no worry about which months have 30 or 31 days, it's just the 1st. It made sense. I sighed, knowing I couldn't really do anything about it at that point.

Evan didn't make his appearance for several more hours.

Most of the pictures in our files are labeled with some computer generated number. But there are a handful that Justin labeled himself.

This one is:

He first sees Pam

And this one:

Pam first sees him\

Love at first sight.

Care for a Serenade?

2010-12-24T15:07:00.005-05:00

You never really know what a kid's gonna do at his or her Christmas program. Will she sing? Will he turn his back to the crowd? Will all the kids run around screaming for Mommy? I admit, I had slightly higher expectations for the little concert this year than last year. This year I had two participating. Twice as much fun, right? And if Miranda ran off during the program, technically, it's not my problem. (Isn't that bad?!) At home Miranda had been serenading us with her own version of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." She sang with gusto (read: yelled) and with her very own words! I thought to myself, "Wow! She's going to be one of those kids. The ones that yell the songs during the program." Woohoo! An improvement over the non-participation of Duncan.

But then the day of the program came. And she did a lot of this:

And this:

(Just sitting there looking pretty.)

If Duncan actually participated in a musical program, I think it would mean that the planets had aligned and there would be world peace or something. He is open and honest about how much he dislikes music at school. The fact that he wore his costume made me happy.

He mostly yawned and made this face:

Although, I could tell that every once in a while he did utter a word or two. And he actually secretly did a few of the little hand movements.

When they handed out bells to ring during "Jingle Bells," Duncan examined them thoroughly.

And then the show was over and we left. Barely a note sung. I shrugged my shoulders. No matter. But in this last week since pre-school has been out for the Christmas holiday, both kids are running around the house singing Christmas songs! I hear a lot of "Jingle, jingle jollies" and "Baby boy, baby boy" from both! I ask them why didn't they sing like this during the school program. No answer. A special serenade just for Mommy? So, if you do care for a serenade from one of my kids...don't hold your breath!

Come to The Dark Side...It's Fun!

2010-12-07T06:52:00.003-05:00

Maybe it's a little boy thing. Or maybe it's just a Duncan thing. He does have a little bit of a naughty streak in him, after all. To Duncan, Bad Guys are actually the good ones.

A couple of months ago we watched a few minutes of Star Wars: a New Hope. Duncan was instantly sucked in. The robots, the light sabers (pronounced "savers"), the pure epicness of Darth Vader. Wait...what? Yes, that's right. If Duncan were Luke Skywalker, he would have gone to The Dark Side the first time Daddy asked. We spent the next month fighting with our pretend light sabers, and losing limbs all over the place (only to miraculously regrow.) It was fun!

For some reason there's always a bad guy in shows geared for toddlers. The person being mean, the scary monster, the loud dinosaur...yep, these are all favorites.

But Duncan did catch me by surprise this past weekend. We watched a little too much Harry Potter (Duncan calls him "Fairy Potter) over the weekend. I think Duncan liked "Fairy." He began brandishing his own wand (usually a pencil or piece of a Superstructs set) and shouting "Disappeared!" at people and things (with his own sound effects, naturally.) Then he told us, "You're disappeared." Then with some complicated wand action, we were re-appeared. It was great fun. The surprise came when Duncan and Justin had a little discussion at bedtime. "Are you Harry Potter, Duncan?" Usually questions like this are simply answered, "No, I'm Duncan." But this time his response was, "No I'm Duncan Snape." Snape! SNAPE! Oh geez.

Recipe for Our Thanksgiving

2010-11-28T21:47:00.003-05:00

3 People with a Cold
2 With Snotty Noses
1 Little Streaker
1 Grilled Turkey "Almost" Done
3 Sides that were ready 20 minutes ago
1 Volcano cake, dry ice melted prematurely=no smoke!
0 Guests (I guess nobody wanted our cold)

Add all ingredients together to a ridiculously warm day for November, and you have...Our Thanksgiving.

Oh well. At least, those of us who were sick are starting to feel better.

Notes to Heaven

2010-11-24T18:46:00.003-05:00

We marked the 4th anniversary of Evan's death today by doing a balloon release. I really like doing balloon releases, because it's like sending up notes to Evan. We write messages to him and draw pictures. We let go of the strings and watch the balloons bounce and float on their way to Heaven.

We love you, Evan!

The Not So Good Time Girl

2010-11-23T14:38:00.005-05:00

I remember another mom telling me that boys were harder in the younger years and little girls were easy, then boys got easier and girls harder as they approach the teenage years. And I believed it. But, I guess my little princess doesn't really fit into the good little girl mold. Oh sure, she's cute and sweet some of the time. But she definitely believes in preemptive strikes when it comes to big brother. I'm all for a girl who can stick up for herself. My problem is when she makes something that should be a good time go wrong.

Our county has a lot of really nice parks and green spaces. We can go for walks and playtime and not drive a great distance to get there. Unfortunately, most of the playgrounds seem to approve of free range children. There are no fences! There may be one fence on one side, but it never seems to block out the important stuff...like the road or the parking lot. Maybe playground developers believe that little kids will be so enthralled by the playground equipment, that they wouldn't dream of leaving. Well, they're wrong. I spend most of our playground visits chasing Miranda back to the playground. She runs to the road. She runs to the parking lot. Evan was also a runner. I remember being laughed at when at 9 months pregnant, I was chasing a little blonde boy around the park. I didn't really find it funny. You ask, "Well, why don't you leave?" Well, we usually do. I'll give her a couple of strikes before packing them up. I do feel bad for Duncan, because he generally stays on the playground.

Playing in our yard is just as bad. I have to be by Miranda's side most of the time, because she'll sneak off. So, instead of having fun at the playground or in the yard, Mommy is stressed! Oh, I think Miranda is having a grand ol' time watching me chase her. But for me? Not so much. I do smack her hand when she runs off. I'll take them inside for punishment. But I guess I haven't found the one thing that will really stop the behavior.

We go to the grocery store, where shopping is supposed to be a pleasure. But even there she acts up. She wriggles out of the belt and climbs out of the cart. She's like a mini Houdini! I put her back in and tighten the belt. It doesn't seem to matter. Meanwhile, Duncan's making the "woowoowoo" siren sound and gleefully telling me how naughty Miranda is. I just want to get the bread and GO! I try to ignore the looks I get from other adults, but it's difficult. I already feel like the world's worst parent, because my kids are going nuts. I just hope it gets better!

Halloween is Over!

2010-11-20T16:33:00.003-05:00

On November 1st after a great night of fun and trick or treating, Duncan announced, "Halloween is over." Quickly followed by, "Christmas is ON!" He's been asking for a Christmas tree pretty much every day since then. We've mentioned that people generally celebrate Thanksgiving before Christmas. And the fact that most folks don't get their Christmas trees until then. Of course, then we go to the store, and they have their Christmas lights on and tree decorated. He asks me if I'm ready for Christmas. "No, not just yet." We don't usually get our tree until the second week of December or so. I have a feeling Duncan won't allow us to wait that long this year. Despite my hemming and hawing, I have to admit...his excitement is contagious!

Thankful Much?

2010-11-12T21:37:00.007-05:00

This is the time of year when many people begin reflecting on thankfulness, as Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I've noticed a few of my friends on Facebook are posting something they are thankful for in their daily status updates. And even a recent suggestion by my pastor was: For each complaint you have, list ten things that make you grateful. It's supposed to change your way of thinking to be more positive. Sounds like a great idea, although challenging!

But I have to admit that when the calendar rolls over to November each year, I don't feel all that thankful. I think about four years ago when my son, Evan, died the day after Thanksgiving. It's been almost four years, and it still hurts.

I may not sit around thinking about all the things in my life that make me thankful, but I do feel blessed.

Duncan was only six months old when Evan died. He was little and needed his Mommy and Daddy, but I don't think he realized how much we needed him. His little smiles and kisses were so welcome. He was our life raft. We clung to Duncan to stay afloat. I was blessed then with a smiley little kissy boy.

And now I'm blessed with...well, a smiley, kissy boy. He comes to tell me about a recent success, just, I believe, to get a hug from his Mommy. He invented something called a "Hug-Kiss," that is a combined hug and kiss. If we're sitting on different sofas, he comes over to sit by me. And not a couple of feet away, but right next to me. He's snuggly and loving, and most importantly, happy.

Even though she's gettin' on my last nerve lately, because she's naughty as the day is long, Miranda is also a blessing. Right now I'm her favorite person in the whole world, and that feels pretty special. It's so wonderful to be loved!

And, of course, Evan was a blessing. A good big brother and friend. He was sweet and curious, but sure knew how to push my buttons. But, like his little brother, Evan warmed my heart with his hugs and kisses.

I've had three beautiful, sweet, happy children. That is a blessing, indeed!

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T20:08:00.001-04:00

The Many Moods of Miranda

2010-10-25T23:07:00.005-04:00

Curious

Intent (note the "Tongue of Concentration")

Meanie

and finally,

Just Plain Sad

Evan? Evan Who?

2010-10-25T22:38:00.004-04:00

Hey Stranger.
I saw you last week. I thought you might say hello.

Maybe you thought I would.

I remember when our kids used to play together at the park.

I don't remember your name.

I remember your second daughter's birth, and that your husband was born at 32 weeks and turned out just fine. But I don't remember your name. Weird, huh? I don't remember your girls' names, either.

I wonder what we would have talked about, had we actually, you know, talked. It's not like me to not speak to someone I know.

Perhaps I was afraid. Afraid of the awkward "hellos" and the uncomfortable knowledge that we both have. I assume you know that Evan is dead.

Or maybe I was afraid I'd have another conversation like the one with another park parent. It wasn't really awkward. Just the skirting around a certain subject.

Evan? Evan who?

It's ok. I remember him, even if you don't.

Pep Talk

2010-10-16T21:50:00.002-04:00

Do you ever get tired of people telling you to "think outside the box"?

Or, "You'll never fill so-and-so's shoes"?

And sometimes if feels as though the world is stacked against you.

I say you can have your cake and eat it, too.

And you can just dive right on in if that fork isn't fast enough!

Panda's Panda Hat

2010-10-12T21:58:00.003-04:00

My sister, Sherrie, is quite a good knitter. She's made the kids several things (including some adorable Winnie the Pooh finger puppets!) But I think my favorite is the Panda hat she made for Miranda, aka "Panda." But Miranda's got a big head. Not the ego kind...just a big noggin.

So, I tried the Panda hat on Duncan, and it fits! And looks super adorable!

Thanks Sherrie!

And She Ran

2010-10-05T22:49:00.003-04:00

Miranda looking like she belongs in this video:

Miranda is what I call "a runner." No, she's not training for a marathon. But she does this annoying thing where she runs off. I tell her not to go somewhere (the road), she can't get there fast enough. I tell her to stay in the yard...she sprints to the neighbor's. Evan was also a runner. But if I told him to stay out of the road, he did. Although, he would go over to the mailbox, stick his toe in the road, and look at me with the, "So, what are you gonna do about it, lady?" look. Miranda skips the scathing looks, and charges ahead. Duncan? He stays in the yard. Don't get me wrong. He likes to explore, too. But I think he likes giving Miranda the "you're a naughty girl" speech even more. So, I typically follow the "naughty girl" fairly closely while we're outdoors.

Yesterday we went to the backyard to enjoy the beautiful fall weather (and a cool new toy from Grandma and Grandpa.) We'd been out for 20 minutes or so, when Miranda goes and hides behind a tree. She's quietly standing there. Waiting. Like some sort of pink ninja. I looked over to watch Duncan for a few minutes. I looked back. I couldn't see Miranda. I walked over thinking I'd find her a little further down. Nothing. She wasn't anywhere.

Trying not to panic, I started calling her name and traipsing through the heavily wooded yards between our street and the next. I stopped and listened. I thought, "If she's walking through the woods, she'll be making some sort of sound." Nothing. That's what really scared me. I ran over to the creek...just to be sure she wasn't there. Then I decided I needed help. (Duncan was calmly playing in our yard this whole time!) I found a neighbor outside who ran back with me. I called Miranda's name some more, and then decided to call the police. Then I called Justin. We were all trying to keep it together, but truly terrified.

I heard a woman's voice on the street behind us, but I wasn't sure she was talking to me. I went back to our yard to keep an eye out for the police officers, and that's when we started hearing more yelling from the other street. She was over there! She had crossed through a couple of yards, gone up the street, and sat down on a curb. Always the ninja. Quiet. Sneaky. And, as Justin says, you never hear about the pink ninjas, because they're that good. After many tears, and my body wanting to hyperventilate, I was reunited with my little girl. She hadn't been crying. She wasn't scared. I think she was proud of her little adventure. I wonder what our next adventure will be?

Girly Girl

2010-09-26T14:09:00.004-04:00

Where it all began

Most babies love looking at themselves in a mirror. There's probably some scientific explanation to this. But who cares? It's darn cute! Miranda is no exception. She has enjoyed her own company since she was a wee one, and still does. But all this looking in the mirror business makes a girl realize that she's got to take care of herself.

She needs plenty of water.

And special masks are always beneficial.

Well...almost always.

The right accessories are also a plus. Little bow barrettes are essential in this little girl's wardrobe. She insists on one every day now. I put the bow in, and she runs to the bathroom to look at it, with a quick, "Thank you, Mommy!" I just thought she liked having a bow in her hair, but when I asked her for her choice of color last night, she excitedly replied, "Purple! Purple, purple, purple!" That's my little girly girl!

Cool Stuff by Duncan

2010-09-14T21:52:00.004-04:00

Taking a photo while looking through a cardboard tube.

Helping Daddy build stuff.

Taking a picture of a huge paper mache giraffe. Why? Because it's there!

Playing, "Look at my new nose!"

Playing in the play tunnel and taking a picture...at the same time! This is definitely one of my favorite pics in Duncan's collection.

The Curse of the Grammar Police

2010-09-04T22:00:00.003-04:00

My son is now enrolled in Speech Therapy through the public school system in our county. Twice a week we drive over to an elementary school for a half hour lesson. When I visited the school for a meeting with his therapists (he's also getting Occupational Therapy), I was told that this school received the School of Excellence Award. And, sure enough, as I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed the "2007 School of Excellence" sign. I thought to myself, "Excellent!" And chuckled. Because I'm like that. We walked into the building to meet with the teacher. She wasn't there yet, so we waited. I didn't have to sign in, because I was just dropping Duncan off. My eyes moved from the sign in sheet to a paper nearby. It was for parents of elementary age students. It was an announcement about purchasing car decals to help the school. It went something like this:

Recieve a awesome decal...

And I didn't even make it to the end of the sentence. My eyes probably glazed over a little, while the chant "I before E, except after C" ran through my head. School of excellence, indeed! When I came back to get Duncan, I corrected "a" with "an." I left "recieve." It bugged me, though. I wondered how this elementary couple of grammatical boo boos made it onto a paper that would be seen by anyone approaching the front desk. Do people care anymore about correct grammar? Did they ever? I know we tend to let things slide in conversation and informal writing (ahem, like blogs!) But I thought a school would get it right. What's next? Misspelling "school" in the crosswalk? Oh wait.

Or perhaps the problem is mine. I had some incredible English teachers in middle and high school. They really hammered in all those rules. So now the grammar radar is always on. The internal editor doesn't take a holiday. I'm not a jerk about it. When Duncan's Speech Therapist said, "Fridays will just be him and I," I cringed on the inside, but said nothing. Because I know that I'm certainly not perfect! When I carried Duncan back on Friday for Speech, the announcement had been corrected. I felt the urge to do a little maniacal laughing. Mwahahahaha! Round one goes to the Grammar Police!

A Day Out with Thomas! 2010 Edition

2010-08-29T22:20:00.005-04:00

In celebration of our 11th wedding anniversary, Justin, my parents, and I took the kids to see Thomas the Tank Engine! Alright, it wasn't really an anniversary trip, but the visit did happen to fall on our wedding anniversary.

Our appointment with Thomas was for 11:30am. We got there, as suggested, an hour early. And basically killed an hour till Thomas came back. But it was a fun hour for Duncan and Miranda.

They both loved playing in the sandbox. (Note to self: get some playsand.)

And Duncan played with the train set. There wasn't much fighting over engines this time, thankfully.

And then we went for our train ride on Thomas!

Duncan and his Grandparents had a great time looking out at the foothills of the Appalachians in North Carolina.

We were in one of the open cars in the very back. Grandpa mentioned how they resembled cattle cars. We rode in the closed cars last time, and decided next time to go closed again.

Miranda wasn't content to sit and watch the scenery go by. She wanted to run along with it. So, there you see her juice box bribe to stay still and hang out with Mommy.

Duncan in his element!

Hanging out with Daddy.

Some of the purty scenery.

Miranda actually staying out of trouble!

After a long, humid day Miranda crashes at the lunch table...

And goes to sleep in her Daddy's arms.

Dirty Dog

2010-08-28T22:17:00.004-04:00

I had a favorite stuffed animal dog when I was little. His name was Henry. I think I got him for my second birthday. We were inseparable for at least a decade. I toted him around everywhere. I worried about him when he was in the wash (after an unfortunate throw up incident.) I have so many fond memories of that little dog! Now, I'm pleased that my little Miranda has a doggie of her own.

She calls him "Doggie," in the tradition of clever stuffed animal names. He's more of a doggie blanket than a doggie stuffed animal. That little blanket goes where Miranda goes. In the car...

And on the train. In Miranda's mouth. And in the dirt, unfortunately. Doggie has become a very dirty dog! I have to wash him early enough in the morning, so he's clean and dry before naptime.

Sometimes she'll invite fellow doggies over for tea.

I finally broke down and got a "backup" Doggie when I noticed some tearing on the original's nose.

Thankfully, she welcomed the new Doggie with open arms, even though he wasn't her Dirty Doggie!

Don't Drink the Lemonade

2010-08-12T13:38:00.004-04:00

Some people may remember the bad acid at Woodstock. And I'm pretty sure we all know about special brownies. But at my house you may want to think twice about tasting the lemonade. At least, if it's presented to you in a pitcher from my son. Because sometimes when you gotta go...you gotta go. And if the nearest receptacle is a pitcher, well...so be it.

Oh yeah...

2010-08-08T23:11:00.003-04:00

I mentioned in the previous post how I put a certain CD in my "new" CD player. An Early Music disc that I really like. I also mentioned that Duncan was soon antsy for something completely different. I don't know how I possibly could have let this go by without mentioning that Evan did the exact same thing! The same CD was on. The same piece of music was playing, and Evan didn't want to listen to "Mommy's" music, either. His request? It wasn't "wock and woll" like Duncan, but Ella Fitzgerald! I have a nice CD of Ella singing Gershwin's Songbook that Evan loved. Isn't that funny? I guess I may have to start listening to my Early Music CDs by myself!

Sweet, Sweet Melody!

2010-08-05T21:48:00.003-04:00

Justin and I had a few days to ourselves over the weekend. My parents were keeping the kids (after an excellent trip to see Thomas the Tank Engine!) I had hoped to get a few things done, but I wasn't feeling so smooth. So mostly, I just sat around moping and feeling crappy. Justin, on the other hand, installed a "new" CD player in my car. Duncan tried playing quarters instead of CDs in the old one, and ruined the player. When Justin took the old one out, it jingled! The "new" player is new to the car, but it isn't exactly new. No, no, it's not used. It's a Christmas present from Christmas 2008. So, it's been sitting in a box for a year and a half. Once Justin got going on the installation, he came in and said, "I think you may be cross with me." "Oh?" I said, "Why?" He replied, "Because this looks like it's going to take all of 20 minutes." Oh well, at least it's done now...right? And now I'm not at the mercy of whatever is on the radio. If I want to listen to something different...easy peasy. I haven't taken any CDs out to the car, yet. I had several old ones in there. Mostly Christmas music. But there were a few early music CDs (The Harmonious Blacksmith- Harpsichord music played by Trevor Pinnock and Harmonices Musice Odhecaton A performed by Les Flamboyants), Telemann, and Ralph's World.

The kids and I were in the car for a trip to the grocery store yesterday. Duncan noticed the new player right away. He probably mentioned solar power and satellites, as those are, apparently, what keeps things in his world powered. Oh yeah, and space pipes. I put the Les Flamboyants disc in. It starts with one of my favorite pieces of music in the world: De tous biens plaine. And pretty soon I started to get some comments from the peanut gallery in the back seat. He wanted "wock and woll" music. I don't happen to have any rock CDs in the car just yet (just give me time!).

So I put the Ralph's World CD in. This was a disc we picked up for Evan after seeing a performance on the Today Show. Non-cheesy music for kids. Cool. He loved it. We loved it. It's pretty scratched up from use and handling, but mostly still plays. We haven't listened to it since shortly after we lost Evan. I know how certain pieces of music can make me feel joyous or melancholy. We all have musical memories. The songs from childhood always have a special place, and usually conjure up happy memories. But there are those songs that touch us so deeply that they evoke an emotional reaction. A song that makes you cry every time. I thought playing Ralph's World may be tough. The first song went ok, but then one of Evan's favorites came on, and I just fell apart. Of course, Duncan was in back listening to the music attentively. I think I may have fast forwarded on to the next one, because he began to protest, "Listen to the monkeys in the trees!" We went shopping and listened some more on the way home. This time there were no tears. And, thankfully, there were plenty of hugs and kisses when we got home.

Sometimes...

2010-07-27T22:46:00.003-04:00

When being a Mommy is not so fun, I need to take a minute and remind myself about what's important...

How her smiles warm my heart...

How much fun he is...

And how much I miss him, and love them all.

Is it Just Me?

2010-07-19T22:17:00.004-04:00

I used to laugh at moms who said they'd go to the bathroom for some peace and quiet. I thought, "Geez, couldn't you find a better place than that?" or "You need to escape from your kids? Umm...didn't you want to have children?!" Of course, now I understand. It's hard to have peace and quiet with the constant monologuing and "Mine, mine, mine!" going on. Let alone some time to myself. So, yes, I go to the bathroom and read a little bit longer than necessary, just because I need a little break sometimes. But it seems like this is when the little ones decide to do some interior decorating downstairs. So today, while reading C.S Lewis' "The Magician's Nephew," I hear Duncan's voice calling from the bottom of the stairs. "Mommy!" I reply, "I'll be down in a minute." I suppose I should have been suspicious, because it was quiet downstairs. When the children are quiet, something is wrong.

"Mommy!"

"Hold oooon!"

"Miranda's making a mess!"

Ahh. There it is. Miranda's into something, and Duncan is tattling. He seems to enjoy getting his little sister in trouble. He needs to learn that she does a pretty good job of that on her own! I went downstairs, unsure of what to expect. Miranda's messes can sometimes be described as epic.

"Miranda made a mess in the kitchen!" says Duncan. He sounds way too excited.

I walked into the kitchen. Miranda was standing in a chair at the kitchen table. She'd gotten the chocolate syrup out of the fridge, poured a bit in the bowl, and a lot on the table and chair. She was scooping the syrup up with her hands and shoveling it into her mouth. Her face was covered in chocolate. Her hair had brown ends, and her arms were covered up to her elbows! I imagine had I gotten there a minute earlier, I probably would have heard her say, "Nummy nummy!"

And yet another cleanup ensued. Does anyone else have these epic messes from their kids, or is it just me?

The Shutterbug is at It Again!

2010-07-13T23:40:00.003-04:00

Duncan enjoys photography. He takes pictures of the every day things one doesn't generally notice. At least, not as the subject of artwork. The ceiling, for example. I never thought the ceiling worthy of my attention, except to provide shelter. Not Duncan. He grabs the camera, and before I know it, he's taken over a hundred photos! And not all of them are his thumb! This grouping of recent photos tells a story.

We find Miranda (with funky effects) coming from the kitchen.

Hmmm...she seems to be in a hurry to get out of here. Perhaps we should go investigate.

Here we are in the kitchen. There's the fridge (with funky effects. He's such a pro!)

Wait! What?! There's bread on the floor?! (with funky effects) Who could have...? grumble...grumble

Look, even Kermit is mad!

And, Mommy cleans up the mess.

Less of a story and more of a tattle tale!

Splish Splash!

2010-07-03T22:18:00.002-04:00

The kids are at the Grandparents' house for the 4th of July weekend, so that Justin and I can get some things done around the house. But we're missing our little people and, dare I say it?, the mess that they make.

Puddle jumping is one of Duncan's favorite past times. We have been going through a dry spell here, so he's had to create his own puddles lately.

Miranda is always eager to join in on any mess making.

I did a little work in the garden while I let Duncan play with the hose. I just didn't realize that he was planning a boat trip!

Splish splash, Duncan, it's time for a bath!

Rock On!

2010-06-25T22:40:00.003-04:00

I'm a firm believer that you can bang your head to pretty much any kind of music. Sure, loads of rock bands and rock band fans get their bobblehead on all the time, but what about other musical genres? What about Classical? Listen to the fabulous Paul Odette...

Oh what? Baroque guitar is cheating? Well, what about a little harpsichord? "Surely not," you say. The Gavotte and 6 Doubles by Rameau is probably my favorite piece for harpsichord (with Trevor Pinnock playing--the man is an octopus!) It may not have your head bobbing right away, but if you're not doing a bob by the last few minutes, there's something wrong with you.

Still think I'm cheating because harpsichord has percussive qualities? Well, I once did a little head banging while listening to a flutist friend playing the Piston Sonata, but I can't say that it was my best effort (rock on, Jeana!) Here's something orchestral to get the blood pumping. Dvorak's Slavonic Dance Number 1.

There are loads of other examples of classical music that rocks, if you still don't believe me. But I will leave you with you with my favorite headbanger in modern rock music, Chris Wolstenholme, bassist of the band Muse.

I Dream a Little Dream of You

2010-06-15T22:17:00.002-04:00

I dreamt of you this morning. It wasn't the sort of dream you'd like, with pirates and dinosaurs and your favorite bear. It's not exactly the sort of dream I like, either.

But, at least, this way I can see you and touch you again.

And talk to you.

And hear your voice.

Since you've been gone all of my "Evan Dreams" have had you sick in the hospital or recovering. It doesn't seem fair that even in my dreams you can't be untouched by illness. I dream of you so seldom now, though, that even these painful dreams are welcome.

In this dream you called me "Mommy."

I awoke, knowing the truth, but feeling as though you were so close.

Just a breath away.

She's No Angel

2010-06-06T22:01:00.007-04:00

Miranda's "Snow Angel" that she made from an entire bag of flour dumped on the floor today.

I remember attending the meet and greet for Duncan's preschool class last fall. It was supposed to be a fun opportunity for us to meet the teachers and other kids (and their parents) in Duncan's class. I was at least slightly distracted, because Duncan and Miranda both were wrapped around my legs, fussing, climbing, or some other behavior. After asking me a question (that I don't remember. see above), the teacher started talking to another parent. She also had a little boy. In fact, she said, she had another boy at home..."so, you know, with two boys I have my hands full." What is that about? I was a mother of two boys only briefly. Just six months. And sure, my hands were full. But I can attest to the fact that although little girls may be made of sugar and spice and everything nice, that doesn't mean they're always little angels. It turns out that every preschool party we attended, Miranda was not just a handful along with her brother, she was a handful and a half by herself!

Miranda has gone above (literally!) and beyond here lately. It seems like she had a schedule of things that she wanted to achieve (all very naughty or, at least, stressful for me!), and she was checking them off, one by one. She's always been a runner, so I always have to keep an eye on her when we're outside. But recently she's figured out some things indoors. She started pulling off the doorknob covers. It was like the world was her oyster! Now, she could go in Mommy and Daddy's room and jump on the bed whenever she liked! And she did. She also checked out the bathrooms (and found out how wet toilets can be!) and she explored the guestroom.

She also recently started climbing out of her crib. The one time Evan climbed out, it was to get his Bear Bear. He landed with a crash. It scared him (and me!) so badly, that he never tried it again. When Duncan started climbing out, he also landed with a crash. We put him back in the crib, hoping that it was a one time deal. Nope. He raced to get out, and came crashing down again. Miranda? She's the ninja. She is able to climb out so quickly and quietly, that sometimes she can beat me to the door! We put the toddler bed in there for her. She's explored it, but, interestingly enough, she climbs back in the crib to go to sleep!

And, like all kids, Miranda knows how to make a mess.

And the one thing that I almost forgot...Miranda gave up her nap! So, she was getting into all kinds of trouble, and then not napping. With all the new excitement, she was so exhausted by the end of the day, that she was quite a bear come bedtime. I probably forgot about this, because I seem to have been able to get her to nap again in this last week or two. But it's coming. Lucky me!

Today's Schedule

2010-06-01T17:30:00.003-04:00

As created by Duncan and Miranda.

1. Two massive blowouts. --Check
2. Lotion and conditioner mess a la Duncan. --Check
3. Sugar spill a la Miranda. --Check
4. Diaper rash cream smeared all over the TV and basketball. --Check
5. Diaper rash cream in hair. --Check
6. Smacking Mommy with plastic toy fishing rod. --Check
7. Time Outs. --Check
8. Two baths. --Check
9. (Unplanned by kiddies) Washer that won't use spin cycle + drying twice the normal length of time. --Check
10. Ants. --Check
11. Mommy completely loses it. --Check
12. Makeup destroyed. --Check
13. Muse shirt covered in diaper rash cream. --Check (grrr!)

Ready for a cold stiff drink? --Check

It's Birthday Time - Get on Your Party Dress!

2010-05-30T21:48:00.007-04:00

Miranda got on her party dress for Big Brother's 4th Birthday Party! Yay! (She's actually mid Panda Rage here.)

We had the not-so-traditional Thai luncheon for, uh, lunch. Hopefully, it will become tradition, because it was really good! (What little boy doesn't want curry dishes, pad Thai, etc. at his party? Huh?)

And then came the gift opening. The scooter was a popular pressie. Duncan actually stopped long enough for me to take the photo.

Miranda "helps" Duncan with the presents.

Duncan wasn't very interested in his birthday cake. But there was one little person who couldn't wait.

She was really trying to be patient.

Ahhh, sweet victory!

Duncan rolled off into the sunset after watching Toy Story twice and Toy Story 2 once. And then this morning Duncan woke up and had a day-after-birthday-party barf. Hopefully that will not be traditional!

Miss Pam's Wild Ride

2010-05-27T17:01:00.003-04:00

Today I had the task of driving the kiddies back home from their Grandparents' house some 40 miles away. I don't particularly like to drive, so it's always a bit stressful for me. Lately the car has been a bit dodgy, so I also had that on my mind. And, poor little Miranda got stung by a wasp this morning (with the whole painful, swollen finger thing), so my mind was pretty full. Didn't really need anything else to push me over the edge.

So, I'm driving along. Miranda is already asleep. We've only been in the car for 10-15 minutes. I'm cruising (as much as the car will cruise) along at about 50+ miles per hour. The air conditioning is on in spite of the fact that it worsens the car's need to get down and funky. But it's in the upper 80's outside, and unlike dogs, I don't like to have the wind in my face. Then...I hear a buzz buzzz. There's something buzzing in the car! I glance around, because, ya know, I'm driving. Don't want to take the eyes off the road or anything. Holy crap! It's a wasp! Then the crazy woman took over. It was something like, "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Wah!! No no no! Oh God, No!" The wasp was doing its own wonky dance inches above my lap. Somehow with all the hand waving and yelling, I managed to open the window (oh yeah, and not crash!) and a miracle occured and the wasp flew out. I worried for a while that it had flown to the back and was concerned Miranda was going to get stung again. So, I left the window down, hair whipping around and slapping my face. But pretty soon the Southern Belle took over and needed her air conditioning again. I closed the window and let the car's Gigue in 12/8 time recommence.

I'm still here

2010-05-25T09:31:00.002-04:00

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. With a month and a half of illness, my sister coming in town, school getting out, etc. I've been pretty busy. And too tired to get my butt over to the computer to do any posts. I'll try to get back in here soon.

TTFN!

Another Rock Star?

2010-05-09T22:02:00.003-04:00

Miranda pretty much wants everything that's Duncan's. Sometimes she follows him around waiting for the right opportunity to make the grab. He's not usually so patient, and just takes things away from her, and says, "I'm sharing!" And then, of course, The Panda Rage ensues.

And even though Duncan hasn't played with a toy for months, if Miranda starts playing with it, he has to have it! So far, however, that doesn't seem to be the case with the "geetar." Duncan got it for Christmas, went all Jimi Hendrix on it, and then it wasn't fun anymore. Guitars, apparently, are more fun when they have strings and all the pieces are still attached. Who would have thought.

But Miranda is now showing some interest in becoming the resident rock star. The guitar still doesn't have strings, but Justin glued all the broken pieces back together. I can't see that she's going to be any gentler on it, as she already holds it in a threatening manner over her head.

We'll see how long it takes for Duncan to realize that she's got "his" toy! And then we'll be back to playing Snatchy McGrab instead of music!

The Alligator Strikes Again

2010-05-05T22:12:00.003-04:00

The kids and I had an outing at church today. Miranda and Duncan played, while I rehearsed with another flutist and the pianist. The kids explored Miss Joan's practice organ and keyboard, as well as the choir loft and drums (very cool!) I was pleased that when we left, the room resembled what it had looked like when we first arrived. What? My kids were good?! I was already saying something about "chocolate milk for everyone!", when Duncan spotted the elevator.

"I wanna ride the elevator. Pweeeeease!" Ok, I said.
He got in. I got in. Miranda didn't get in.

This is the same elevator that Evan called, "The Alligator." Evan escaped from me once and took a little ride down to the nursery floor. I was frantically searching for him everywhere, when he appears holding Miss Ann's hand (one of the kind ladies from the church.) Here I am, a complete basket case, while Evan is having a good ole time.

Well, today was a little different. Miranda doesn't like elevators. I'm not sure if it's the bouncy, jerky motion or the whole enclosed space thing. So, she wouldn't get on. I went back out to get her and the door closed behind me. With Duncan inside. Instead of the fun little ride that his big brother had, Duncan started screaming. He screamed down to the first floor and all the way back up. It seemed to take a long time for those doors to open. The whole time I'm yelling, "Just stay on the elevator and it will bring you back to Mommy!" When it rattled back up to the second floor, and the doors opened, Duncan came running out. His little face was red and tear stained. He ran into my arms and got his hugs. Then we went and got that chocolate milk.

Big Feet, Small Feet, Feet, Feet, Feet!

2010-04-26T19:03:00.005-04:00

Today Duncan has wanted to be outside as much as possible. Perhaps because he was couped up in the house so long during the latest bout of the stomach flu. I do know that the new scrub brush Mommy bought recently works very well as a car scrubber. He set up his own little car wash in the backyard! When Duncan asked to go out for the third time today, he brought his shoes over to Justin.

"Daddy, will you put my shoes on?"

Justin said, "Duncan, These shoes won't fit me! My feet are much too big!"

Duncan thought for a moment and rephrased his request, "Daddy, will you put these shoes on my small feet?"

Quick learner!

World Meningitis Day

2010-04-24T03:02:00.003-04:00

Join Hands against Meningitis today in memory of all those who have been touched by Meningitis, including my son. Evan died from Bacterial Meningitis in November 2006 at age 2. I pray that one day soon Meningitis will be eradicated from our planet.

The Everything Book

2010-04-22T21:55:00.004-04:00

I worked in a public library for a few years before Evan was born. I was often asked by adults for book recommendations, but I have to admit, it was more fun when a kid asked, "What do you like to read?" We had training throughout the year where we had to read children's and adult books from various genres. During this period I learned about a book called, The Read Aloud Handbook, by Jim Trelease. Mr. Trealease lists out books that are great to read to your kids, from birth through 12. And he comes out with a new edition periodically, so it's pretty current.

When I became pregnant I checked out a copy to get some ideas for books for my firstborn. Some of the selections I found in there have become family favorites. One of the first books I bought for Evan was The Everything Book, by Denise Fleming. It is for the littlest reader. It has fun, bright pictures, and the text covers, well, everything! Shapes, colors, the ABCs, seasons. All three of our kids loved this book, but especially Evan and Miranda. Miranda has recently started reciting bits and pieces from the book throughout the day. It sounds like, "Shapes!" or "Spring!" and especially, "Bases!"

Ummm...what?

She means Faces. There's a little two page spread with children's faces expressing different emotions. This has been the favorite page for all three kids. There are eight faces expressing eight different emotions. Each of my children picked out their favorite face, but they weren't the same. It still fascinates me which face each child chose. Evan picked out the laughing face. Under the picture are the words "Ha ha," so naturally, I gave a great laugh when I got to that during storytime. Evan pointed to the picture and wanted me to laugh again and again. And he joined in with his own, "Ha ha ha." Duncan's favorite picture was the little boy who looked mad. The word under this picture is "Hmph!" So, of course, I "Hmphed" with gusto. And, he too wanted me to do it again and again. I was so surprised he didn't want the laughing boy. Partially because it was Evan's favorite, but I thought surely my little laughing Duncan would like the laughing boy best. Nope. And along comes Miranda. Her favorite face is the worried little girl who says, "Oh no!" We read the book, and before we even get to that picture, Miranda is already turning her head towards me saying, "Oh no!"

I love seeing her run over to find the book and giggle with glee as she starts turning pages. I love that they are interested in reading. But I really love the things I learn about them in the process.

Duncan's Smiling Eyes

2010-04-21T22:06:00.003-04:00

I have plants in my gardens that are special. Their cultivar names have my childrens' first names in them. I have a Coneflower called "Evan Saul," a Hydrangea called "Miranda," and a Bearded Iris called "Duncan's Smiling Eyes."

When I started looking for named plants, I found "Duncan's Smiling Eyes" and knew I had to get it. Because Duncan is my little smiley guy. He got us through those first few months after Evan's death just by flashing his sweet little grin.

But lately, he's looked more like this:

Two stomach viruses in the period of a few weeks. Duncan's little body has been through the ringer. And those little smiles...the ones where his cheeks dimple and eyes crinkle...we haven't seen very many of those.

However, we got a whole afternoon of smiles today! So, I'm hoping that the worst is over and my little trooper is finally recovering and back to his happy self (and in this picture: rockin' self!)

The Gun Debate

2010-04-13T21:59:00.002-04:00

No, not that one.

I keep reminding myself that Duncan is a little boy. An almost 4 year old little boy (ack!) And no matter how foreign little boys are to grown up little girls (that would be me), I am learning...

Ever since watching Wall-E some 30 times last summer (and more since then), Duncan has taken to using various toys as guns. I mention Wall-E, because Eve the robot is a tad trigger happy. Duncan also sees gunplay on Justin's video games, and even Wallace and Gromit's "The Wrong Trousers." But even before this exposure, Duncan was pointing his finger and saying, "pshoo pshoo." I asked him not to point his "weapon" at people or animals. (Not something I thought I'd be telling my 3 year old son.) But now it's his toys. And he holds them up and shoots them at me or Miranda or a stuffed animal. I feel a little silly telling him not to shoot at people or animals, because it's just a toy drill. Am I teaching him any real lesson for later, "I remember my mom telling me not to shoot at people or animals." Or is he just being a little boy? After asking him multiple times to stop shooting at me yesterday, I took the drill away. Today, he got the drill back. He still did some shooting, but he would look at me, then shoot in another direction.

What do other moms do about their little boys and cops and robbers games?

Feeling Better!

2010-04-10T22:28:00.002-04:00

After a rough weekend last weekend with vomiting and poopoopalooza, a visit to Urgent Care, and several sleepless nights, the kids finally are feeling better. The worst was over by Monday, but Duncan was still not quite his usual ecstatically happy self until later this week. We had a few periods in the car when he told me, "I'm not feeling very well." I'd keep an eye on him, wondering if he was going to barf all over the car. I'd ask him if he'd like to go home. "No." And a little while later, "Duncan, how are you feeling?" And he'd say, "I'm not feeling very well," or "I'm feeling better!" with a little lilt to his voice. It's back to school next week. I hope Duncan can stay well. I've had enough sickness around here for a while!

Deja Vous?

2010-04-03T12:38:00.003-04:00

It's starting to warm up, so naturally, we're all sick. Hey, wait a minute. I think I said this already. Oh yes, here. Easter is tomorrow, and Spring Break is next week, and both kids are throwing up, and...uh...other stuff. It's been a very messy last couple of days. And I'm praying hard that Justin and I can avoid getting sick, too! I'm supposed to play flute at church tomorrow, and I really don't want to be sick. Besides the fact that no one likes to be sick, right? I've been sanitizing today, thinking all the while that I'll probably be sanitizing again tomorrow. I'm also thinking that we'll observe Easter when the kids are feeling better. Easter baskets and egg hunts can wait, thank goodness. Miranda's super adorable Easter dress will just have to be her super adorable Spring or Summer dress. Sigh. Here's hoping for a normal day tomorrow!

Say Cheese!

2010-03-28T23:02:00.004-04:00

Miranda tries to force a big, toothy grin.

But perhaps you wanted actual cheese...

Miranda was a bit peckish. She decided to get a little snack from the fridge. But she never gets her snacks. Oh no! She's got to get the hunk of sharp cheddar that's for the family. (Or a couple of chicken thighs the other day. I didn't get pictures, because she ran off real sneaky like.)

Did I mention this was a big block? No?

Maybe a little too much cheese.

On to the bananas!

My sweet little Miranda has a new nickname...Bottomless Pit.

Curious Duncan Goes to the Hospital

2010-03-24T22:26:00.003-04:00

The weather has started to warm up, so naturally, we've all been sick. We passed around a cold, then a couple of us had tummy issues. This week all of us seemed to finally be feeling normal. We had plans to see friends Monday morning at 11 for a playdate. We were having fun, but I thought it was a tad strange that Duncan didn't want a cupcake. But he's known for not wanting to stop playing to eat, bathe, whatever. A little while later he started crying. I asked him what happened. He said he had a booboo. I asked where, and he pointed to his little guy stuff. I thought he bumped into something, but was doing better. But then a short while later, he started to cry again. I didn't think he'd bumped himself this time. I asked, "Does it hurt when you go peepee?" He said yes. Oh no. He may have a urinary tract infection. I called the pediatrician's office and made an appointment. We packed up and came home to wait for the 2:30 apointment time. Miranda fell asleep on the way, so I tucked her into bed when we got home. I gave Duncan a sandwich and cookies. He cried off and on, but really started to lose it around 2pm. Justin was home by then. Duncan was screaming...I mean screaming...nonstop. We were terrified. Justin took him outside for a little air, but Duncan wanted to get in the car and go NOW. So, Justin decided this qualified as an emergency. He took Duncan to the ER, and thankfully, they were able to get him back quickly. I was home with sleeping Miranda, feeling a little unpleasant deja vu of 3 and a half years ago when Justin took Evan to the hospital and I stayed home with Duncan. I could hear Duncan still screaming in the background when Justin called. I was beside myself with worry. I had decided to go over as soon as Miranda was awake. But then Justin called. Duncan had (ahem) a massive poo, and was feeling better. And Justin needed diapers, and cleanup stuff. so, I woke up Miranda and headed over with the diaper bag. Duncan pooped several more times(!), but was doing better. He was just constipated with severe gas pains. I never was so thankful for poo!

Things I Never Thought I'd Say, No. 713

2010-03-20T11:31:00.001-04:00

"No Duncan, don't use your new toothbrush to clean the Millenium Falcon!"

Why Didn't You Tell Me?!

2010-03-08T22:58:00.004-05:00

That little girls are very, very (did I say very, yet?) naughty. Oh sure, you're looking at that picture of Miranda and thinking, "Who? That little angel there?" That's a picture of Miranda when she climbed up the stairs on the wrong side, and squeezed her whole body through the rails...except for the tippy top of her head. She's got a big noggin, so it didn't fit, and she got stuck. Of course, this happened while I was showering. I heard a peep and went to check on her, and found her firmly wedged. We pushed and pulled, and I managed to get her out by pulling her back through the wrong side of the stairs. Before you start thinking that I'm a bad mommy for getting my camera out before releasing my little mountain climber, just know that the picture was taken the second (or third?) time she wedged herself in there that day. I thought she would learn from her mistakes. Maybe she did learn - that Mommy would come a-runnin' if her little sweetheart was stuck again. Negative attention.

Miranda's the Queen of Negative Attention. Today we went outside to enjoy the beautiful weather. I bent down to take a sniff of my Daphne odora shrub at the bottom of the drive. By the time I stood up, she was all the way up at the top, and running gleefully into the road. Of course, I ran full tilt to get her (and thanked God that there were no cars coming.) She got the "WE DO NOT GO INTO THE ROAD...EVER!" speech (and yes, I was yelling, because a child running into the road is a tad stressful.) So, we went to the backyard. Miranda decides Mommy's nice, newly planted seeds looked like they needed a little plowing. She walked over my veggie bed, stuck her hands down into the dirt and raked them around a bit, not listening to my, "No! Please stop." I picked her up and moved her, and got out these little white picket edging pieces to put around the bed for protection. As I'm installing those, she runs toward the creek, and starts to try to edge her way down into the water. I go get her. More yelling. She climbs back into the veggie bed. More yelling.

We went back to the Back 40 (where we're digging trenches to drain the property), and we actually had fun for a little while. She dug around and smacked the water in the trench with a stick. Good times. Then, I guess she needed her yelling, crazy mommy fix, so she proceeded to climb back into the creek. I got her out, and she wanders over to the neighbor's yard. I brought her back. And pretty soon she was back into the water. I said as I retrieved her AGAIN, "If you go back into the water, we're going inside." She did. And we did. I felt bad, because Duncan was having fun and being good (although his constant reminders that Miranda should get a time out (which she did), were pushing my buttons just a little.) I do wish our yard was a lot more child friendly. But I also wish my little rule breaker would at least pretend to listen to me. Sigh. I'm not even going to think about when she's a teenager.

Just in Case there's any Confusion...

2010-03-03T21:48:00.003-05:00

When you're a kid it's all about you. Right? The world revolves around little kids. They openly admire themselves in the mirror. They're not embarrassed to lock eyes with other kids. They blatantly stare at other people. I wouldn't mind having more of the Super Ego that toddlers have. You know, it's good to really know yourself. Duncan and I have had many conversations about the real Duncan. They usually went like this:

"Duncan, are you cheeky?"
"I'm not cheeky. I'm Duncan!"

When Duncan turned 3 his pediatrician was concerned that he wasn't talking a ton, and the doc wanted Duncan to answer certain questions. Some of the questions were, "How old are you?," "Are you a boy or girl?," and others. I remember asking Duncan one day:

"Duncan, are you a boy?"
"I'm not a boy!" and he thumped his chest and said, "I'm Duncan!"

And of course one of my favorites:

"Duncan, are you a ghost?"
"I'm not a ghost. I'm Duncan."

Yes, he has his story and he is stickin' to it. He's definitely not confused about who he is!

Big Shoes to Fill...Literally

2010-02-24T22:50:00.004-05:00

Evan was a big boy from the get go. He wasn't was of those 14 pounders at birth, but he was a respectable 8 lbs 13 oz. And for a new mom expecting a 7 pounder, almost 9 pounds seemed huge! I still remember the doctor saying as Evan's head popped out, "That's not the head of a 7 pound baby!" He always got comments about his chubby cheeks and jowls. And I kind of got tired of people saying, "He's a chunk!" But he was a chunk. He was heavy, he had a big head, and he was tall. Evan was a big boy. Always in the 95th percentile and sometimes higher in everything they measured (these are physical measurements of a child's body at the checkups for you non-parents.) People always told me that Evan had big feet. He was my first baby, so he seemed sweet and tiny to me, no matter what anyone else said. But as he started wearing shoes, I too started to see that my little man was not so little. I think his first pair of shoes were size 8's. I didn't get Evan "real" shoes until around his first birthday. Up to then he wore soft sole shoes that are supposedly good for new walkers. And he went barefoot. A lot. His foot size increased rapidly over the next year and a half. As school started in September 2006, I purchased Evan, my 2 and a half year old, some size 11.5 sneakers. Oh yeah, and always Wide. Which means I have to go to the kid's shoe store and pay twice as much. Evan only wore those shoes for a few months. He died at the end of November that year. The shoes have sat in his closet...now Duncan's closet...until recently. Duncan, who has also always been called a chunk and a big boy, but never measured quite as big as his big brother (but not by much!) is finally wearing 10/11s. Duncan is about a year older than Evan was at the time of his death. Yeah, Evan had big feet!

Fifty Pounds of Awesome!

2010-02-21T16:52:00.004-05:00

We watched an episode of Kipper the Dog today. The episode is called, "The Butterfly." Kipper chases a purple butterfly around, but doesn't seem to be able to capture it. He thinks he's finally got it in his paws. He says, "It's wriggling in my hands. It tickles!" But the camera pans up, and the butterfly is on Kipper's head! Kipper opens his paws to find that he's captured his own tail! I explained to Duncan the humor in this.

Justin asked Duncan, "Do you have a tail, Duncan?"

"No." he said.

"What happened to your tail?" his Daddy asked.

"It's broken!" Duncan replied, as if it was completely obvious. Duh, Daddy.

"Would you like to fix your tail?" asked the intrepid father.

Duncan shook his head, no. I asked him if he'd like some duct tape to fix it (because to Duncan, duct tape is The Most Effective Means of fixing anything. Anything!)

Nope. He's ok with his tail being broken.

Evan's Olympics

2010-02-20T12:48:00.004-05:00

I can't really think about the Olympics, especially the Winter Games, without thinking about Evan. I was big, fat and pregnant with Duncan during the last Winter Olympics-Torino 2006. As usual, I planned to watch All Olympics All the Time. We were out on the first or second day of competition visiting with family or something. On the way back home Evan was a bit cranky. We suspected he was tired, but he stubbornly fought off sleep. We finally arrived home, and broke out the cookies for our cranky boy. (Cookies are the best medicine around here!) He took his cookie, climbed into my lap and fell asleep before the first bite. I clicked on the Olympics and watched while I held my sleepy boy. When he woke up the luge competition was on. Evan loved luge. I don't know if it was the speed, the slide like course, or the fact that the competitors were dressed like sausages. But for the rest of the Olympics, Evan eagerly awaited more luge! Unfortunately, there were only a couple of days of luge. Of course, bobsledding had a similar look, so that was good, too. But every time I turned on the TV, Evan yelled, "Luge! Watch luuuuuuge!" And we snuggled up on the sofa together and watched.

The At Home Olympics, Winter Games

2010-02-18T23:00:00.003-05:00

I'm a self confessed Olympics junkie. I don't love every single event, but I get caught up in the excitement and goodwill. I try to understand the love of Curling. And I think I've decided that the players go out for beer afterwards, so for them it's all about the fun. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

A friend was telling of her children and their teddy bear Olympics lately. It reminded me of our own Olympic efforts during the Summer Games in Beijing. And it looks like all the TV watching is bringing back more athleticism? Wackiness? I don't know. You decide.

Olympic Lift Mommy Off the Chair (aka Weightlifting (facepalm))

The Downhill Pillow Push

Ummm...the Backwards Luge? With Cushion?

Duncan was doing his own version of the Half Pipe. The cushion was his snowboard. He moved so fast that I mainly got pictures of him on the floor!

I'm not sure if there's a boating event during the Winter Games. Soooo...Bobsledding with a Paddle!

Snow!

2010-02-13T22:26:00.005-05:00

Yesterday afternoon it began to snow. So, the kids and I decided to go outside and play.

Miranda takes a snowy stroll.

Duncan, doing some ice fishing.

I got the cold, wet kids back inside with the promise of hot chocolate. The snow continued. And we woke up to this...

A winter wonderland!

At first, Duncan showed no interest in going back outside! I was beyond surprised. Finally, we all got dressed and went outside to play.

Our sledding was a bit of a dud. We don't have actual sleds, seeing as how we hardly ever have actual snow. So, we used a plastic lid and some cardboard.

Duncan and I went back out in the afternoon. After a sunny day most of the snow had melted. Although, it could still be found in the shadier spots. We found quite a bit on the driveway. Duncan balled some up in his mittens, and tossed a snowball at me! We threw more snowballs and giggled. Then we were off for more exploring. Duncan jumped onto the ground like Kipper the dog and made an attempt at a snow angel. It was the first time in decades that I made a snow angel!

And, of course, Duncan had to build a snowman. I really had fun mounding the snow with my son, packing it in, looking for sticks for the arms.

And a carrot for the nose. I balked when he said he wanted to build a snow dog. My yarn gloves were soaked through, as were my shoes (his shoes, too!) But we built his little dog.

Then we posed for a picture, and went inside for some more hot chocolate!

Duncan the Destroyer!

2010-02-08T23:14:00.003-05:00

Duncan is and always has been our little Guitar Hero. He enjoys playing his toy guitars and Daddy's video game guitar.

He finds a suitable "stage" for his performances. And he often seeks out people for his audience. Although, I've heard him saying, "Thank you, thank you" even when he's playing to an empty room.

But when a rocker uses his axe, like...well, an axe...

Our gee-tar hero must improvise.

Oh yeah, he might be playing a vacuum, but that boy has rock star written all over his face.

The Polka Dot Princess

2010-02-05T21:47:00.004-05:00

Before Miranda came along I swore I'd never call her "Princess." I don't really remember the reason why. Maybe I thought it was too cliche. Or maybe I didn't want her to grow up thinking that she had to wait around for some prince on a white horse for her life to be complete. But, of course, she came into the world all cute and cuddly and sweet. And she was our little princess.

Of course, now it's taken on a whole new meaning. As sweet as Miranda is, she has a bit of a mean streak. One part bossy, two parts sweet, and one part sneaky. I guess I knew that the kids would do the tug of war over toys. And I suppose it occurred to me that I would hear a lot of, "Mine! Mine!" But I didn't think the battle over food portions would happen for a while, yet. I've seen that peanut butter commercial where the two little boys are fighting over the last of the peanut butter. The Mommy cleverly has one boy slice the sandwich in half, and the other boy has first choice. Those boys are at least 7 or 8 years old! I thought I had years before doling out equal numbers of M&Ms. But my little Panda Bear knows when she's getting The Shaft. She's very observant. She watches the milk being poured in the cup. She waits for it to be placed into her ha....what?! It's Duncan's?! Mwahh! Of course, her's is there waiting for her, but she's already halfway to Meltdown City. And she doesn't bother with whimpering or getting her eyes a little red and wet. Oh no. My Polka Dot Princess has huge tears streaming down her face within seconds! But, I've solved the cup dilemma by pouring out both cups, putting on the lids, and then handing them over at the same time. It's the same with snacks.

She occasionally gets so mad or frustrated, but she is so not gonna cry. This is when she does what we call the Panda Rage. Her eyes get big, her face turns red, she holds her arms out in a "What happened?" sort of pose, but they're really stiff. She's done this for so long, and we've laughed about it so much, that now Miranda can do a Panda Rage on cue.

She's cute. She's sweet. She's got a 'tude. Yeah, She's a princess.

Happy Birthday, Evan!

2010-02-01T22:21:00.001-05:00

We love you and miss you, sweet little boy.