Sunday, November 13, 2016

Songs for the Journey

There are specific songs that Evan knew and loved. There are pieces of music that inspire thoughts of Evan. And then there are songs that fit in with where I am in my grief journey. One of these is by a British band called, Bastille. They have two songs on their first album called "The Weight of Living." There's a part one and part two. I like them both, but "The Weight of Living, Part 1" hits me in the feels, as the kids say. Just the title has meaning for me. Living on without my son truly does weigh me down. In the song there's "an albatross around your neck." I've heard this phrase in a Flogging Molly song, too. It has to do with a burden that one is carrying. In the song there's this burden, this albatross, and the singer says "can you carry it with no regrets, can you stand the person you've become." Then he encourages you to let it go, and also to shoot it down. For me the albatross is my grief. It does feel like a heavy burden sometimes. All of the questions that I ask myself, "Had I taken him to the doctor sooner, would he have lived?" Of course, there are regrets. I regret losing my patience with him. I have to remind myself that I did the best I could. I have to remind myself that it's not my fault. And no matter what "good intention-ed" people say, things don't always happen for a reason. Or, maybe they do, and the reason is sometimes sh#t happens. This song helps me think that yes, I can let go of my grief. Yes, I can shoot down that albatross. I don't have to have this feeling. I can let it go.

Here are the lyrics:

There's an albatross around your neck,
All the things you've said,
And the things you've done,
Can you carry it with no regrets,
Can you stand the person you've become,
Ooh there's a light [2x]

[CHORUS]
Your Albatross, let it go, let it go,
Your albatross shoot it down, shoot it down
When you just can't shake
The heavy weight of living

Stepping forward out into the day
Shrugging off the dust and memory
Though it's soaring still above your head
It is out of sight and none shall see
Oooh there's a light [2x]

[CHORUS]
Your albatross, let it go, let it go,
Your albatross shoot it down, shoot it down
When you just can't shake
The heavy weight of living
When you just can't seem to shake
The weight of living

It's the sun in your eyes, in your eyes [4x]

[CHORUS]
Your albatross, let it go, let it go,
Your albatross shoot it down, shoot it down
When you just can't shake
The heavy weight of living
When you just can't seem to shake
The weight of living

The weight of living [4x]

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