Thursday, November 3, 2016
I sang lullabies and soothing songs to each of the kids at bed time. Well, until Miranda started covering her ears, and saying, "No singing!" I'm no opera star, but I can carry a tune. One hymn that I "sang" (hummed, really) to Evan was "Be Thou My Vision." An old family friend sang it at our wedding, and it's always been a favorite of mine. I've always loved Celtic music to listen to and play. When I sang it to Evan, I didn't sing the words. I didn't know the words! I just sang the tune. And we snuggled. He seemed to love to hear me sing. When it came time to choose music for Evan's funeral, "Be Thou My Vision" seemed a good choice. A pretty melody. A good message. And the history of the music for our little family. It didn't occur to me at the time that hearing it later on would be a struggle. This song that I've loved for 20 or more years is hard to hear now, because of the memories it brings back. Whenever they play it at church, I cry. I'm crying now, because I've been listening to it as I write this. I still love the melody. It's just bittersweet now.