I'm behind yet again. I kind of wish I hadn't started this Thankful business. Sure, it's easy to come on here and say, "I'm thankful for pizza," because I am thankful for pizza. But that seems kind of silly. If you asked me back in July what I was thankful for, I would have said Central Air Conditioning. I didn't want this almost month of gratitude to be about "things." But trying to dig deeper is tough. Especially because this is a difficult time of year for us. Evan's death anniversary is next week. Five years. It's unbelievable.
Five years ago today the weather, much like today, was mild. Instead of meeting up with friends inside, I decided to meet with friends at a playground. Enjoy that last little bit of fall weather before winter decided to come barging in. I loaded the boys up in the van and we went to the "different" park. Evan begged to go to The Different Park. I asked him, "Which park is that?" "The different one." Ooookay. Luckily for us his little friend Kennan liked what he called the Rubber Park (because it has rubber flooring.) When we passed the usual park, I'm sure Evan was pleased. And, sure enough, when we pulled into the Rubber Park parking lot, he said, "Yeah! The Different Park!" The boys played together. Duncan was just 6 months old, so he mostly hung out in the stroller. I left him with my friend while I slid down the slide with Evan several times. It was a lot of fun. We laughed and laughed. It was to be colder and wet the next day. We went to get Evan's hair cut in preparation for Thanksgiving the following week. Just over a week after this memory he was dead. Even though I sit here crying, I'm thankful to have this memory and others of my sweet little boy, Evan.