Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I Dream a Little Dream of You



I dreamt of you this morning. It wasn't the sort of dream you'd like, with pirates and dinosaurs and your favorite bear. It's not exactly the sort of dream I like, either.

But, at least, this way I can see you and touch you again.

And talk to you.

And hear your voice.

Since you've been gone all of my "Evan Dreams" have had you sick in the hospital or recovering. It doesn't seem fair that even in my dreams you can't be untouched by illness. I dream of you so seldom now, though, that even these painful dreams are welcome.

In this dream you called me "Mommy."

I awoke, knowing the truth, but feeling as though you were so close.

Just a breath away.

4 comments:

Amy said...

Sending you a hug. At first I typed "guh" instead of "hug." I guess I'll send you one of each.

(I think we have the same tunnel. I don't know why I am always studying your toys in the pictures...)

Anonymous said...

Big hugs.

Jude x

Sandy said...

I'm sending big hugs, too. I find I don't dream of my son very often but certainly wish I could. But when it does happen it is super special.

Trish Verfurth said...

Pam,

My heart breaks for you. Although my Evan is still here on this earth, I too love to dream of him when he was whole. Although the last two dreams I had of him, he was in his current state. When I had a dream of my aunt who had passed, I say dream but I truly felt as though she came to me from heaven. Her joy was more than I can put into words. I hope that in some way you can feel comfort knowing that Evan is experiencing full and complete joy, absent of any pain, anger, sadness or frustration. I pray that you have many more dreams in which you get to hold him tight, kiss his head and hear "mommy I love you."

In Prayer,
Trish