Saturday, May 16, 2009

A Turd in the Hand is Not Better Than Two in the Diaper!

What a week! Justin found out recently that his company will be laying off 130 people or so next month. Unfortunately, he's one of them. So, he's been brushing up the resume, purchased some new shoes, and contacted a recruiter. He had a phone interview last week that resulted in an in person interview this week. It was one of those all day affairs where the victim, I mean, candidate has to talk with several different people throughout an entire workday. There's breakfast and lunch. He thought he might get a break and try to call me. Didn't happen. I didn't get the call until almost 5. And it went ok. We'll find out the results sometime next week.

I usually talk to Justin on the phone a couple times a day just to check in, and give him the scoop on what's going on at home. Usually it's something like, "Miranda just said guitar!" Or lately, "Duncan mixed up another strange concoction with the sugar." This week Justin was home most of Monday and Tuesday, because I had jury duty. He was able to go to Duncan's End of the School Year Picnic on Tuesday. So, the kids got some good Daddy time.

We decided that the period between the end of school, and the beginning of Summer PMO would be a good time to try to do some potty training with Duncan. He will be turning 3 on Sunday (wow!), so I kind of feel like I've put it off long enough. When asked about whether or not he would like to learn to go pee pee in the potty, Duncan responds with polite belligerence, "No, Thank You!" with a little hand wave that basically means, "Go away." However, Duncan made it clear by his actions that something needs to happen with that poo poo in his pants. Unfortunately, he chose to pull it out and roll it around in his hands. He does this with food (not at the same time!) He sits there, crumbling his bread with the 1,000 mile stare.... This week, however, he pulled out the poop, handled it, Mommy finds him, puts poo in the proper place (the potty), and washes hands like crazy. This happened a couple of times earlier in the week. Duncan got the Poo-Poo-Is-Dirty-We-Do-Not-Touch-It-We-Put-it-in-the-Toilet speech. "Do you understand?" "Yes, I understand."

And then came Thursday. The day that I was unable to reach Justin by phone, because he was being harassed, I mean, interviewed by some folks. And honestly, I'm sure Justin's family (if they read my blog anymore) are chuckling, because Justin doesn't talk. He's a quiet guy. So, the fact that I'm getting all weird, because I don't have contact with him is probably amusing. And I suppose I could have called someone else, but I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about it. "Oh hello, Insert Friend's Name, yes, we're having Poo issues."

With all of the potty training business in mind, I've been letting Duncan tool around the house in the buff. Yes, I know, I'm asking for trouble. But Thursday, after starting the day with a pee pee on the floor (Duncan's, not mine!), I told myself, "I just don't think I'm up for this today." And suited my naked guy up in a diaper. And he played, and all was right with the world. Miranda went down for a nap, and Duncan played some more. I walked through the playroom. Sniff Sniff. "Duncan, we need to change your dia...what the...!" He had the poo out and smeared all over his hands, and on some toys. I did all the "Ugh. Gross." and "That's Disgusting" that was appropriate for the occasion (in other words, the whole time!), and cleaned him up. Gave him The Speech, and asked if it was understood. Understood. We do not play with poo poo. Unfortunately (I seem to be saying that a lot in this post!), I didn't see some of the little turds wedged in between some boxes. So, a little while later, I hear: spitting sound, "yutty." He came running up to me, poo all over his hands again, and said, "Brush teeth?" He had decided to sample something of his own creation. And found it lacking! I cleaned him up...again. I found poo smeared all over the boxes, wedged in between boxes, smeared all over some other stuff. This time Duncan got a Time Out. And I cleaned the mess. And called the Pediatrician to ask, "I think my son ate some poo, do I need to expect profuse vomiting in a few hours?" Thankfully, no. In fact, the first question to me was, "Who's poo was it?" So, I brushed his teeth, gave him some water, washed his hands again and again and again. And decided, "After all this crap, we need a cookie break."

Today, we started potty training more seriously. I'm just waiting to see what happens when he poos in the potty or, more probably, on the floor. What a joyous day that will be. At least, then I can call Justin to commiserate!


Amy said...

Oh my gosh, I thought I had it bad when Benjamin would only poop on the floor for several weeks. At least after he did it, he would come straight to me, tell me "I pooped!" and then show me where the poop was so I could clean it up. He never touched it. Wow. You have my sympathy.

Trish Verfurth said...


Hilarious! When I was potty training my Evan, he did poop on the floor. My older two thought it was funniest thing they had ever seen. Needless to say, they both got in trouble for laughing at Evan. I would often find my daughter Emily (assistant), reading to Evan when he was on the potty. Emily took it upon herself to potty train Evan. He was almost there before he got sick.

My prayers are with you for the new job and the potty training.

Trish Verfurth

Betharoopie said...

Oh, boy...does NOT sound like fun... but this can certainly be one of those stories you embarrass him with when he's older - like when he brings his college buddies over! ;)

Sherrie said...

Doop de do, I'll just leave this little link over here, out of the way:

Sherrie said...

Well, that didn't work: link